If you are using Internet Explorer 6, you may not have the best Bebo experience. Please consider upgrading.
Assassin storys
- Profile views: 6,827
- Profile created: March 2007
- www.bebo.com/Assassinstorys
- Category:
- History
- Publisher:
- Connor Green
close Reviews
close Comments
-
Sandy Beachs1/19/09Hey try gotcrowd.com for your book or music great site
-
ITs-All-About-My-Girl4/26/08came show yo page sum luv
-
Jimmie Oliver2/9/08Hey fellow-author, If you are a self-respecting bookworm, then you could do a lot worse than read through extracts of my new book on www.bebo.com/JadedGoodie The 288-page publication can be ordered from Amazon.ca or Waterstones and is due out at the beginning of March. Best wishes
-
Joe12/31/07READ THIS PLEASE! COMMENT? REVIEW?!?! http://www.bebo.com/glory-3-cause-0 http://www.bebo.com/glory-3-cause-0 http://www.bebo.com/glory-3-cause-0 http://www.bebo.com/glory-3-cause-0 http://www.bebo.com/glory-3-cause-0 http://www.bebo.com/glory-3-cause-0 http://www.bebo.com/glory-3-cause-0 http://www.bebo.com/glory-3-cause-0 http://www.bebo.com/glory-3-cause-0 http://www.bebo.com/glory-3-cause-0 http://www.bebo.com/glory-3-cause-0 http://www.bebo.com/glory-3-cause-0
-
Joe9/25/07
This is the story of a hitman in england. We follow the 19 year old 'Carter', as he calls himself as he works for various shady charectars, killing whoever he is told to http://www.bebo.com/the-hit-list07
-
Anniepoo8/15/07Check my skins in my favs. Good idea. Right? Yes mate!
-
Jo.8/10/07good story but in germany thank-you is danke not danker
-
Joe8/5/07
http://bebo.com/mission-detroit http://bebo.com/mission-detroit http://bebo.com/mission-detroit http://bebo.com/mission-detroit http://bebo.com/mission-detroit http://bebo.com/mission-detroit http://bebo.com/mission-detroit http://bebo.com/mission-detroit http://bebo.com/mission-detroit http://bebo.com/mission-detroit http://bebo.com/mission-detroit http://bebo.com/mission-detroit http://bebo.com/mission-detroit http://bebo.com/mission-detroit http://bebo.com/mission-detroit http://bebo.com/mission-detroit
-
Joe7/8/07
150 + fans cant be wrong! your book is great
-
Joe6/25/07
Write another one
-
Mikey Elien6/8/07
cool
-
Mr J Harding5/30/07CHECK OUT MY SNIPING BOOK http://SniperParadise.bebo.com
great read assisan story great read but a couple of spelling mistakes with wrong words but overall greatness
by Michael Kitts 2/24/08Good I like this story just one thing your german spelling "Papers bitter" should be "Papier Bitte" and "Danker" should be "Danke". But it is a brilliant story write another chapter please.
by Soraya I 1/9/08Not Bad... Well it wasn't too bad. The excessive use of "the Assassin" was a bit annoying though. You have all the right information in it with the right ideas but you need to work on bringing them out properly. Read a bit more and I'm sure you'll get better
by Millsy 12/9/07shit!!! worst book ever
by Niky. 10/28/07Review It has the potential of being a good story but it needs variety for example the first line: "The Alps of Germany is one of the most beautiful places on earth and has been named one of the most fortified places on earth."
by Thomas Adlington 10/23/07You mention 'the earth' twice in a moment and again all the sentences are roughly the same length. Really sell like: "The Alps, one of the most beautiful places known to man. A perfect landscape. But deadly, it has been named one of the most protected corners of the globe. You could die in there and no one will find your body."
Its all about that hook. Get the reader interested. The first bit of the story their going to read is that first line and talking from experience, if I am not interested by the first paragraph I wont read the rest.
All in all though it has potential. Just try to improve a little bit.
If you don't mind, can I point you, and other readers of this page, in the direction of my book:
http://TheGreatestWar.bebo.com
not a bad story line but a bit pants yeah not bad but i got bored half way through
by Paddy H 10/22/07Aggravated I found it very aggravating that you kept mentioning 'the Assassin' in ever single line. You do know there are other names for these freelance-killers?
by Ryan 9/19/07Check the typos and ditch the crying and the kids. Over-all, it wasn't too bad. Maybe if not a little cheesy.