May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Josh Mehra please shut up?
I repeat, will the real Josh Mehra please shut up?
We're gonna have to kill clack...

Y'all act like you never seen Josh Mehra before
and clack on the floor like your mum, HAH, she came just burst in the door
and started fuckin your ass worse than before
their first were bumsex, pinning her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
[*vocal turntable: chigga Nigga chigga*]
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Tom Green to HUMP A DEAD MOOSE
"My BUM is on your lips, my BUM is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's CLITORIS is
Of course they gonna know what INTERCOURSE is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
But if we can HUMP dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

[Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

[Eminem]
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
And there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
with his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, iPod, etc. on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds.


SOMEONE PINCHES YOUR ASS, WHAT DO YOU DO?
scarred and scared - Rod stewart

HOW ARE YOU?
track 4 club land x-treme hardcore 4

WHAT DO YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOUR OLDER?
rubber bullets- 10cc

HOW IS YOUR LOVE LIFE?
chasing cars- snow patrol

WOULD YOU KILL SOMEONE?
i want it that way - backstreet boys

WHAT PLEASES YOU?
little wing- derek and the dominoes

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR LIFE?
belle- jack johnson

WHAT YOU DOING FRIDAY NIGHT?
both sides of the story- phil collins

WHAT DOES YOUR BF/GF THINK OF YOU?
intro- mark ronson

WHAT SONG WILL BE AT YOUR HEN/STAG NIGHT?
i can't dance- genesis

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTFRIEND?
pill pill- the wurzels

WHAT DO THEY THINK OF YOU?
track 17 clubland x-treme hardcore 4

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR TOWN?
suneye- T.rex

WHAT DO YOU DAYDREAM ABOUT?
summer romance- supertramp

WHAT IS YOUR BAD HABIT?
expresso love- dire straits

WHAT WILL BE PLAYED AT YOUR PROM?
helicopter- the feeling

WHAT WILL BE THE FIRST THING YOUR FRIEND WILL SAY TOMORROW?
life in the fast lane- the eagles

ARE YOU GAY?
rewind ( live at isle of wight festival)- paolo nutini

WAS SHE GOOD LAST NIGHT?
don't stop movin' (jewels &stone radio remix)- Sclub 7

WHAT DO YOUR GRAND PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
goodbye Mr. A- the hoosiers

ARE YOU REALLY SEXY?
rats in the cellar- aerosmith

WHAT DO YOU SCREAM WHEN YOU ORGASM?
devices are wild- aerosmith

WHAT DID YOU DREAM ABOUT LAST NIGHT?
englishman in newyork- sting and the police

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANYTHING WHAT WOULD IT BE?
here i am- leona lewis

WHAT IS YOUR FAVE THING TO DO?
my fist your face- aerosmith

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO NAME YOUR BLOG?
cops and robbers- the hoosiers

1. Full Name: Tom Keen
2. Nicknames: Keen
3. middle name: Richard
4. Place of Birth: Salisbury
5. Zodiac Sign: scorpio
6. Male or female: i am fairly sure i'm male
7. Primary school: Woodborough CofE
8. high School: lavington!
9. Occupation: farm worker
10.favorite shoppin centre: err. i've only ever been to one, swindon outlet. its not my favorite. come on, its in swindon
11. MSN Screen Name: keen- you wish to ride me??

__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Color: blonde
13. Hair Length: sorta medium ish
14. Eye color: blue
15. foot size: 10
16. Height: i don't actualy know
17. Braces? no
18. Glasses? no
19. Piercing’s: none
20. Tattoos: no
21. Righty or Lefty: left

___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: Jack. i haven't seen him for a couple of years tho
23. First Award: i got 25 qwid for a drawing i did when i was 5 in a competition
24. First Sport You Joined: rounders club at primary school
25. First pet: gunea pig
26. First Real Vacation: erm i think i was 6 months old, i don't remember think it was majorca tho
27. First Concert: rock nite at pewsey carnival
28. First Real Love: digestive biscuits

___ Favorites___

29. Movie: errrr. dunno.
30. TV programme: top gear, or eastenders
31. Colors: dark grey, baby pink, ford ST orange
32. Rapper: fiddy
33. Band: right now? have to be the feeling
34. Song Right Now: the feeling-=-love it when you call
35. Friend: probably jesse
36. Sweet: galaxy
37. Sport: mountain biking, or kayaking
38. Restaurant: the chinese in lugershall
39. Favorite brand: apple
40. Store: tesco or lidl
41. School Subject: ICT
42. Animal: dog
43. Book: philip pullman his dark materials
44. Magazine: topgear/ MBUK
45. Shoes: my old animal traniers, but my dog ate them last week, they aren't quite as comfortable now

___Currently___

46. Feeling: tired
47. Single or Taken? single
50. Drinking: j2o
51. Typing: this
52. happy or sad: happy
53. Listening To: pink floyd- shine on you crazy diamond, all 24 minutes of it
54. Thinking About: answering the little orange boxes flashing at the bottom of the page
55. Wanting To: eat a ham sandwich
56. Watching: you
57. Wearing: clothes

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids? yupppp
59. Want to be married? yeah
60. Careers in Mind: automotive design engineer. (sounds posh, but basicaly it means draw and design cars)
61. Where do you want to live: the cotswolds
62. Car: a whole list but most favoured are : aston martin DBS aston martine rapide, lambourghini gallardo spyder, and a porche cayenne twin turbo and my van

__Which is better with the Opposite Sex___

63. Hair color: doesn't matter
64. Hair length: doesn't matter
65. Eye color: it doesn't matter
66. Measurements: doesn't matter
67. Cute or Sexy: more sexy than cute
68. Lips or Eyes: what freak doesn't have both of them?
69. Hugs or Kisses: both
70. Short or Tall: not taller than me, it would scare me
71. Easygoing or serious: both, at the appropriate times
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: both, again, at the appropriate times
73. Fatty or Skinny: not fat. not thin
74. Sensitive or Loud: both, at the right times
75. Hook-up or Relationship: Relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: mostly caring
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: both, yet again

___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger: nope
79. Had Alcohol: yeah
80. Smoked: no
81. Ran Away From Home: no
82. Broken a bone: not that i am aware of
83. Got an X-ray: yeah
84. Tried to commit suicide: no
85. Broken someone’s Heart: not that i am aware of.
86. Broke Up With Someone: indeed
87. Cried When Someone Died: no
88. Cried At School: yea
___Do You Believe In___

89. God: sorta
90. Miracles: yup
91. Love at First sight: defo
92. Ghosts: ya
93. Aliens: yes
94. Soul Mates: uhuh
95. Heaven: yes
96. Hell: i'd like to think there wasn't one, but if theres heaven, there must be hell
97. Angels: yeah
98. Kissing on the First Date: depends on circum