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bluewaffle

Blue Waffle [bloo·wof-uh l] : A battered or infected lady cake of blue or green colouring, often brought about by extreme rammage to the female taco with penis or device of similar nature. Blue Waffle infections are a result of dirty skank whoreness of the smack head variety and are abundant in areas of extreme chav infestations as well as areas high in whoredom. Once Blue Waffle has settled in, seepage known as "Vagu" [vah-goo] often becomes prominant. Harbingers of Blue Waffle may also commonly be referred to as "your mum".

01)- Thou shalt drink only pints and/or "whiskey."
02) - Thou shalt always ate the skin of yer rasher.
03)- Thou shalt always stand at the back during mass, or even better,in the porch talking.
04) - Thine Wife shalt emulate Biddy from Glenroe.
05) - Thou shalt emulate Miley.
06) - Thou shalt "Suck Diesel."
07) - Thou shalt pretend to know all about "The Headage."
08 ) Thou shalt look after your tractor better than your car.
09) - Thou shalt have no "Revershing" lights or number plate on your trailers.
10) - Thou shalt display a "Travellin' to Flavin" sticker on the back window of all vehicles.
11) - Thou shalt wear your Ivomec Pour-On fleece with pride.
12) - Thou shalt not use but half-inch Wavin or "a good Sally Rod" for beatin cattle.
13) - Thine sons shall play GAA.
14) - Thine daaawwwthur shall marry the local centhur-forward.
15) - Thou shalt hold regular arguments with d'telly.
16) - Thou shalt reminisce the Fair Day, the Threshing, Kickin' Cabbages and the Corncrake.
17) - Thou shalt know a Mickeen Tomeen Joe and a Paddy Joe Paaaack from "the top of the parish."
1 8 ) Thou shalt ate "Hang Sangwiches" and drink Cidona at all GAA matches.
19) - Thou shalt hate "Those Bashtards the Tans."
20) - Thou shalt be edumacated by the Chrissshtian Brethers.
21) - Thou shalt pronounce 'Yellow' as 'Yella'.
22) - Thou shalt carry the A.I. Man's mobile number on you at all times.
23) - Thou shalt not visit Dublin ( except to Croker and to bring the wife shoppin' on the 8th of December ).
24) - Thou shalt not fail to attend the Ploughing Championships and all Steam Rallies.
25) - Thou shalt always know how to reek turf bether than thine Neighbour.
26) - Thou shalt use balin' twine to hold up thine trousers.
27) - Thou shalt not ever visit the dentist.
28 ) Thou shalt not miss an episode of "The Weather."
29) - Thou shalt have many many injuries from "that Hooooor of Charlois I got from that cowboy calf-dealer."
30) - Thou shalt wear cap crooked.
31) - Thou shalt love all Big John Wayne's fims, especially "The Quiet Man."
32) - Thine son shall be nicknamed "Bungalow," 'cos "he's got nothin' upstairs."
33) - Thou shalt shoot stray dogs.
34) - Thou shalt drown cats.
35) - Thou shalt always be too busy to shave.
36) - Thou shalt annually run the tractor off the end of the pit when tramping silage.
37) - Thou shalt taste all barrels of Molasses.
38 ) Thou shalt think it's great craic to ring PJ and roar into the phone while he's with "the bit of stuff."
39) - Thine favourite chat-up line shalt be "Howya fixshed for a bit a howya goin' on ?" whilst winking like an epileptic.
40) - Thou shalt paint "Whatever County for Sam!" on all of your round bales.
41) - Thou shalt never leave the country.
42) - Thou shalt have a Heinz-57 mongrel of a dog which is for nothin' except terrorising the neighbour's sheep.
43) - Thou shalt only bathe on a sathurday niyat, using only carbolic soap
44) - Thou shalt read the Farmer's Journal.
45) - Thou shalt always support your county GAA team whilst curshing them for being "pure shite" at every given opportunity.
46) - Thine sweet of choice shall be either Ritchies After-Dinner Mints or Silvermints.
47) - Thou shall never wash thine hands.
48 ) Thou shalt refer to Soccer as "The Foreign Game."
49) - Thou shalt always sing to dirty line to "Alice."
50) - Thou shalt always receive Communion on the tongue, licking the
priest's hand in the process!!!!!

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