Rule # 1 - Never leave a fellow Crasher behind. Crashers take care of their own.
Rule # 2 - Never use your real name.
Rule # 3 - Never confess.
Rule # 4 - No one goes home alone.
Rule # 5 - Never let a girl get between you and a fellow Crasher.
Rule # 6 - Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms.
Rule # 7 - Blend in by standing out.
Rule # 8 - Be the life of the party.
Rule # 9 - Whatever it takes to get in, get in.
Rule # 10 - Invitations are for pussies.
Rule # 11 - Sensitive is good.
Rule # 12 - When it stops being fun, break something.
Rule # 13 - Bridesmaids are desperate - console them.
Rule # 14 - You're a distant relative of a dead cousin.
Rule # 15 - Fight the urge to tell the truth.
Rule # 16 - Always have an up-to-date family tree.
Rule # 17 - Every female wedding guest deserves a wedding night.
Rule # 18 - You love animals and children.
Rule # 19 - Toast in the native language if you know the native language and have practiced the toast. Do not wing it.
Rule # 20 - Always have an early "appointment" the next morning.
Rule # 21 - Definitely make sure she's 18.
Rule # 22 - You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. No overtime.
Rule # 23 - There's nothing wrong with having seconds. Provided there's enough women to go around.
Rule # 24 - If you get outted, leave calmly. Do not run.
Rule # 25 - You understand she heard that but that's not what you meant.
Rule # 26 - Of course you love her.
Rule # 27 - Don't over drink. The machinery must work in order to close.
Rule # 28 - Make sure there's an open bar.
Rule # 29 - Always be a team player. Everyone needs a little help now and again.
Rule # 30 - Know the playbook so you can call an audible.
Rule # 31 - If you call an audible, always make sure your fellow Crashers know.
Rule # 32 - Don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely sure that they have a pulse.
Rule # 33 - Never go back to your place.
Rule # 34 - Be gone by sunrise.
Rule # 35 - Breakfast is for closers.
Rule # 36 - Your favorite movie is "The English Patient".
Rule # 37 - At the reception, one hard drink or two beers max. A drunk crasher is a sloppy crasher.
Rule # 38 - Never hit on the bride! It's a one-way ticket to the pavement.
Rule # 39 - The way to a woman's bed is through the dance floor.
Rule # 40 - Dance with old folks and the kids. The girls will think you're "sweet."
Rule # 41 - If there is a cash bar, bring your fake war medals. You'll never have to buy a drink.
Rule # 42 - Try not to break anything, unless you're not having fun.
Rule # 43 - At the service, sit in the fifth row. It's close enough to the wedding party to seem like you're an invited guest. Never sit in the back. The back row just smells like crashing.
Rule # 44 - Create an air of mystery that involves some painful experience when interacting with the girl you're after. But don't talk about it.
Rule # 45 - Always remember your fake name!
Rule # 46 - The Rules of Wedding Crashing are sacred. Don't sully them by "improvising."
Rule # 47 - You forgot your invitation in your rush to get to the church.
Rule # 48 - Make sure all the single women at the wedding know you're there because you've just suffered either a terrible breakup or the death of your fiancee.
Rule # 49 - Always work into the conversation: "Yeah, I have tons of money. But how does one buy happiness?"
Rule # 50 - Be pensive! It draws out the "healer" in women.
Rule # 51 - Always pull out in time.
Rule # 52 - Tell any woman you're interested in that you'd love to stay put but you promised to help out at the homeless shelter today.
Rule # 53 - Get choked up during the service. The girls will think you're "sensitive." Bring a slice of onion or artificial tears if necessary.
Rule # 54 - Avoid virgins. They're too clingy.
Rule # 55 - If pressed, tell people you're related to Uncle John. Everyone has an Uncle John.
Rul

Jack Bauer is the 'i' in team.

Nobody says 'hit me' when Jack Bauer deals Blackjack.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

When Jack Bauer is asleep, time stops.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.

Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.

It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.

Jack doesn't get morning wood. He gets morning steel. Stainless steel.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.

Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

Drive-Thru's are open for 24 hours because if Jack Bauer wants a chalupa, goddamnit Jack Bauer gets a chalupa.

Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, "You're in good hands with Jack Bauer".

Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

Jack Bauer once double teamed a girl.. by himself.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

If Jack Bauer misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.

When Jack Bauer asks for your help, he's not asking.

Due to Jack Bauer, no one looks forward to the weekend anymore, they look forward to the weekend being over, and watching 24 on Monday.

Jack Bauer once won a game of rock paper scissors using niether rock, paper nor scissors.

80 mins+2 ALL OVER FRANCE ARE BEATEN!

80 mins Contepomi misses and France run it! They get to their own '22 after an obstruction call.

80 mins Match good as over - if it goes dead, Spreadbury may blow it up? If it goes over, no bonus points for France.

78 mins France have it, and run it out of their '22 - stalled again and lying flat and too far away from eachother, they're going nowhere. Penalty to Argentina! (Diving over the ball in the ruck).

Surely it's all over!

77 mins Contepomi misses France still in with a chance, but they've two minutes.

77 mins Check down the very bottom of this match tracker - it's interesting stuff...........!

76 mins Spinning run by Dominici down the touchline; but they spill it again and again come under pressure from a footrush/hack through.

Penalty Argentina - the game could be won here!

74 mins Hernandez kicks and chases from near his own '22. Another knock on by France. The failure to deal with ball in the air has really undermined their chances. Scrum on halfway and Argentina spin it wide - making it that nameless halfway between the '22 and 10 spot (French half) on the right hand side.

Contepomi drop attempt misses; three points would be nice for Argentina though......

73 mins Jean-Baptiste Ellisalde comes in, but it's three minutes too late. Ellisalde is a top kicker, and normally plays with Michalak. Serious cock up by French manager Bernard Laporte in not getting him on sooner.

72 mins 'Spreaders' is still shouting at the Argentines in broad Yorkshire-ian. Learn Spanish Tony!

Argentina clear to between the French '22 and 10 metre line.

Reinforcements come in - some Argentine forwards switched.

70 mins Michalak lines it up - pressure is on.........

And he misses it. Badly. Yards wide.

69 mins Worst up and under yet; Michalak gets on it and knocks it down the field. France get a penalty for not releasing; Manuel Contepomi is injured, and he needs to lie down near where the kick would be taken from...........

67 mins France maul it, and Traille clears to their own 10 - no sign of any go forward though, and time is starting to become an issue for them.

65 mins Argentina maul but Chabal is in one man wrecking ball mode and turns it over with a brave rip; Michalak clears.

Up and under from the lineout again. France set it up and run, but are tackled on their own 10. Stalled again, until turnover ball and a nice kick by the hooker Ledesma (!) put them back in their own '22.

63 mins Bonorino, a prop, comes on for Scelzo. Argentina disrupt and break through! 60 yards in seconds and they are so close to another try but an attempted offload just fails to stick! Felipe Contepomi had the match in his fingertips but couldn't hang on; Corleto's offload wasn't great though.

62 mins Rougerie charges up the wing; France ten away. Argentine man goes down - clever? - but it's an Argentine lineout. Knock on Argentina is the call; little bit contentious?

61 mins Freddy (Michalak) is on; France get going by getting the shove on Argentina in the scrum. Turnover ball, and again they are on the Argentine '22 with ruck ball.

61 mins Messy lineout won by Argentina. Chip an go doesn't come off, but France knock on the turnover ball - Chabal's first charge ends with Szarzewski knocking on his offload effort.

Skrela is down injured - doesn't look great. Could be Michalak's moment?

59 mins France 12 Argentina 17

Skrela slots it as Chabal comes in. Could be a big moment. Dmitri Szarzewski also on. Martin and Ibanez off.

58 mins Advantage France - penalty given by Spreadbury for coming in from the side of the maul. Number 18, the lock Alvarez, has replaced the Fernandez Lobbe lock and gave it away.

57 mins It's a two score game; and time is running out. No urgency from France though; they are camped on the Argentine '22. A maul gets going though and makes five yards.

56 mins Play back in France's half.