*Man who run in front of car get tired.

*Man who run behind car get exhausted.

*Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

*Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

*Man with one chopstick go hungry.

*Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

*War does not determine who is right; war determine who is left.

*Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

*Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

*Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

*Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

*Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

*Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T

Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.

Mr. T's sperm is so strong it could impregnate a man.

The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What
occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded
in human history.

Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created
Pity.

Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.

In the unlikely event that Mr. T ever pitied himself, the universe would
immediately reboot to 1982.

Mr. T once pitied a fool so hard that he burst into flames.

When the Visi-Goths moved into the Balkan Peninsula in 268 AD, they weren't
invading the Roman Empire--they were trying to get away from Mr. T.

Mr. T doesn't obey the second law of thermodynamics. It obeys him.

God didn't create the world; he just locked Mr T in a garage with an old
Chevy and a box of tools.

If you see Mr. T, it's already too late. If you don't see Mr. T, turn
around.


Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove
that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.

Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his
genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact,
nothing but T's.

Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.

Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the
concept of infinity.

Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe
place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and
Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the
resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.


The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.

Mr. T once fell into a pool of lava. He nearly drowned.

Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.

Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.

Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills
them.

When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.

Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding
his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he
is always understood.

Ever have a sharp pain in your chest that you can't explain? That was Mr.
T, and it was a warning.

Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only
survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.

23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken
you to read this sentence.

On the A-team, Face , Hannibal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise.
Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out
of fear.

Mr. T can bench press 800lb. With his penis.

There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to
walk.

Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin
T.

When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand
prints after the cement was dry.

Mr. T actually beat Rocky in Rocky III. In fact he killed Sylvester
Stallone with his first punch. And wore his skin to make Rocky IV.

Mr. T didn't know Rocky was a movie. He just wanted to kick the shit out of
a white guy and steal his bitch, A-team style.