10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome

I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.

9. Men are not sponges

Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.

8. Women are racists

Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.

7. Men live less than women

The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!

6. Men write illegibly

Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.

5. Jesus was a man

Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.

4. Men wear watches

Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.

A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.

3. Boys destroy things

The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!

2. Marriage is stupid

Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage a

every face u take
message in you face
englishman in your face
walking on your face
every little face you do is magic
fields of your face
face-anne

im sorry jimmy i have to do this
MEMBA WEN "GETTIN HIGH" MENT SWINGIN ON THA PLAYGROWND... WEN "PROTECTION" MENT WEARIN A HELMET... WEN THA WORST THNG U KUD GT FRM BOIZ WAS KOOTIEZ... ND THA WORST THNG U COULD GET FRM GURLS WAS A KOLD... MUM WAS UR HERO ND DADS SHOULDAS WER THA HIGHEST PLACE ON EARTH... UR WORST ENEMIES WER UR SIBLINGS... "RACE ISSUES" WER ABOUT HU RAN THA FASTEST... "WAR" WAS ONLY A CARD GAME... THA ONLI "DRUG" U NEW WAS COUGH MEDICINE... WEARING A SKIRT DDNT MAYK U A "SLUT"... THA ONLI THNG U "SMOKED" WAS THA TYRES ON UR BYK... THA ONLI THNG THT WUD HURT U WAS "SKINND KNEES... THA ONLI THNG THT KUD BE "BROKEN" WER UR TOIZ ND GUBYES ONLI MENT TIL TAMORO... LYF WAS SO SIMPLE ND KAREFREE... BUH WATT I MEMBA MOST WAS GOING OUT AND SHOOTING PEOPLE AND LAUGHING ON DRIVEBYS ON MY BYK this is a joke