RULES:
1. Put Your itunes, windows media player etc on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
dig a pony - the beatles

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
passengers - elton john

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Act naturally - the beatles

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
here there and everywhere - the beatles ( my computer has random songs on it)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
i was only joking - rod stewart

WHAT IS UR MOTTO?
don't let the sun go down on me - elton john

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
love you to - the beatles

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Supersonic - oasis

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
octopus's garden - the beatles ( how wierd can this hing get man )

WHAT IS 2+2?
one after 909 - the beatles

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIE?
be here now - oasis

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
married with children - oasis

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
happy ending - mika ( ok how the feck is mika on my laptop

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
mean mr mustard - the beatles (again )

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
and i love her - the beatles ( rite my laptop is full of the most random shit )

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
morning glory - oasis

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
four kicks - kings of leon (favourite song )

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
roll with it - oasis

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
fixing a hole - the beatles ( theres a whole lot of beatles on this laptop )

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
fuckin in the bushes - oasis :S

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
you gotta love someone - elton john (really wierd)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
these streets - Paolo Nutini

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good). We always hear "the rules" from the female point of view... Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us
0 Comments 25 days ago



funny as
Once a cobra bit John Smeaton’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

John Smeaton uses his abs to smooth diamonds.

John Smeaton does not dodge bullets. Bullets dodge John Smeaton.

Everynight before the bogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for John Smeaton.

John Smeaton doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

It was once believed that John actually lost a fight to a terrorist, but that is a lie, created by John himself to lure more terrorists to him.

Smeaton went tae the same school as Charles Bronson and stole his dinner money everyday.

John Smeaton isn’t afraid of the dark…the dark is afraid of John Smeaton

John Smeaton once killed a lion with his bare hands.

John Smeaton can make a woman climax just by looking at her and shouting ALLAH!

Anthropologists are studying John Smeaton to try to find the origins of the lack of “flight” in his “fight or flight” response.

Smeaton used to racially abuse Bruce Lee to his face, and forced him to cook him Chicken choi mein every night free of charge.

Alex Salmond has abandoned any future plans for wind farms in Scotland. He is just going to use Johnny’s arms to power the whole of Scotland and sell the surplus energy to the East Coast of America.

There was a Comet headin straight for Earth one year ago, it was too big for Nasa to destroy wi Nuclear bombs... so they phoned Smeaton to jump up on springs and punch fuck oot it.

John once challenged Chuck Norris to a square go. Mr Norris kindly refused the advance.

John Smeaton can strangle you with a cordless phone.

John Smeaton won a game of connect 4 in 2 moves.

John Smeaton can delete the recycle bin.

If you wake up tomorrow, it’ll be because John Smeaton allowed you to.

Smeaton once held down eight Tigers and gang raped them.

John Smeaton dosent sleep, he waits.

When John Smeaton does push ups, he’s actually pushing the ground down.

The Argies surrendered Port Stanley when the heard that John Smeaton had been born.

John Smeaton is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Jeep.

John Smeaton drowned a fish.

Death once had a near-John Smeaton experience.

John Smeaton died 5 years ago, Death never had the balls to tell him.

John Smeaton once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

John Smeaton is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like John Smeaton.

John Smeaton plays Russian roulette with a fully loded revolver… and wins.

John Smeaton once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.

When God said, “Let there be light”, John Smeaton said, “say please.”

John Smeaton doesn’t need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.

John Smeaton knocked that terrorist oot, then lit his roll up aff that jeep.

Smeatons calander goes stright from 31st of Ma

the mans code 3 days ago

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you infor