A blondes review
January-Took new scarf back because it was too tight.
February-Fired from pharmacy for failing to print labels...Helllloooo!!!...bottles wont fit into the printer!!!
March-Got really excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6months said "2-4years."
April-Trapped on esculator for hours.....power went out!!!
May-Tried to make jelly...wrong instructions...8 cups of water wont fit into those little packets!!!
June-Tried to go water skiing...couldn;t find a lake with a slope!!!
July-Lost Breast stroke swimming competition...Learned later,the others cheated,they used their arms!!
August-Got locked out of my car in rainstorm....car swomped because soft-top open...
Sept-The capital of California is "C"...isn't it???
October-Hate m&m's there too hard to peel!!!
November-Baked turkey for 4 1/2days...instructions said 1hour per pound i weigh 108.
December-Couldn't call 911..."Duh"...There's no 11 button on the stupid phone!!!
What a year!

DO THIS ITS FUNNY!
Take the first letter in your first name:
A: I licked
B: I bit
C: I sucked
D: I moved
E: I rubbed
F: I smelt
G: I did anal with
H: I blew
I: I stopped
J: I Photographed
K: I turned on
L: I shoved
M: I tickled
N: I munched
O: I turned off
P: I set light to
Q: I twisted
R: I gobbed on
S: I chucked up on
T: I looked at
U: I walked on
V: I kicked
W: I played with
X: I fucked
Y: I did 69er with
Z: I glared at

Take the day you were born on:
1: The queen
2: A horse
3: A dildo
4: A butt plug
5: A teacher
6: A car exhaust
7: Michael Jackson
8: A male striper
9: A pikey
10: An ugly fat kid
11: Tony Blair
12: A cheeseburger
13: A slut
14: My dad
15: An adult toy
16: A plaster
17: A paint brush
18: My mums used tampon (on a heavy day)
19: A wig
20: A Flute
21: An old man
22: A fish
23: A mammal
24: A carrot
25: A pubic hair
26: A bogey
27: A pencil sharper
28: A school tie
29: Some used loo-roll
30: Some Y- fronts with skids
31: A fit model

Now take the first letter of your last name
A: For money
B: For fun
C: Because I’m loved
D: And hated it
E: To pass time
F: For a bet
G: Because I wanted to
H: Because it was dry
I: For a free pencil
J: To get onto a game show
K: Because my mum said it would turn her on
L: And loved it
M: For a pet monkey
N: Because I was horny
O: For a free cuddly toy
P: To win a Ferrari
Q: So I could get a boob job
R: For a hob nob
S: To win X-factor
T: All for pleasure
U: For a laugh
V: Because my pet hamster was dying
W: For £100000
X: To skip school
Y: Because I thought my hair looked cool
Z: So people will talk about me

Wud you hug me?
Wud you kiss me?
Wud you shag me?
Wud you go out clubbin wiv me?
Wud you be my friend?
Wud you kick my arse?
Wud you go out wiv me if I asked you?
Wud you take a shower wiv me?
Wud you let me take a bath wiv you?
Do you like dance?
Are we friends?
Are we enermys?
Am i hot?
Am i a flirt?
Am I sweet?
Am I crazy?
Am I loveable?
Am I funny?
Am I annoying?
Am I phsyco?
Am I daring?
Am I a good person?
Am I a good dancer?
Am I a fun person to be around?
Am I a good friend?
Am I always looking for a good time?
Am I always looking for an adrenalin rush?
Am I horrible?