Not the average review, rather terrible actually;

This is basically a brief version of what happened on November 20th at the 8pm showing of New Moon at the Savoy Cinema in Exmouth:

Starts out with the picture not completely focused at the beginning during the WARNING signs, so I shouted; "FOCUS!" ..which I think announced how annoying I was gonna be throughout the showing?

It was funny, Aisling, during the adds goes;
"What do you bet the person who sits in the seat in front of us is gonna look like?"
And her bet was;
"Fat, bald and ugly?"

Then about five minutes later, after me and Ash had almost got caught by one of the Ushers whilst we were blue-toothing eachover pictures of pandas - I sent two pictures to a strange person by accident - and some poor girl who was probably a rather nice person, had stood up to take her jacket off and revealed a New Moon T-Shirt - I like the idea of the shirts, but the ONE place you do not wear them to is a viewing of the movie - this woman came in with her friends?

You should have seen what she was bloody wearing? YOU WOULD HAVE CREASED UP! She was clearly on a night out(in Exmouth? Don't get me started! Lmao) but she was rather on the large side, and insisted she could wear short short short short skirts! She had to be in her 30's and thought that this would look good teamed with a sparkly cardigan that AGAIN was too small? I WAS SHOCKED! SHOCKED I TELL YOU! But Aisling did get the Fat and Ugly bit right? I was praying she'd remove a wig or something and reveal herself to be bald! ha!

She was part of the entertainment for that night, during the 'intimate' scenes between Bella and Edward that bug me...

I have to say I was fidgeting a bit and felt bad cos I clipped the seat in front of me ONE TIME, but apparently I was kicking the woman's chair rather violently? Surely if I was, I WOULD HAVE NOTICED MYSELF? ...Anyway, she turns around to me and Ash and goes really fierce and rudely to us:

"WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP KICKING MY CHAIR!" ......

...Okay, now if she was polite and went;
"Sorry, you keep catching my chair could you please stop?"
..I WOULD HAVE BEEN DEEPLY SORRY!

..But no. She was Bitchy. So naturally it sent me and Aisling into a fit of giggles which is always a good way to annoy people farther, and, ironically, if I had deliberately meant to kick her chair I would have done it with such FORCE that she would have gone flying into the chair in front of her!

Anyway, the main things we pointed out:

What Victoria was wearing? And her hair? OMG SHE LOOKED SOOO AWESOME!!!!!!

...We were reaally pissing off that lady sat in front of me because you know that chase scene with Victoria is quite intense? Well we'd been quiet for a couple minutes so we were destined to make noise at any moment? And like when Victoria appeared, I said a little too loudly:

"I LOVE HER HAIR"
then Aisling goes;
"-AND HER OUTFIT!"

Lmao ..safe to say we ruined it for everyone but had fun ourselves! YAAAAYYYY! ;]

The girl that was sat next to me gave a right gasp intake when Lautner first took his shirt off, which made me laugh for ALL of the rest of that scene! And EVERYTIME LAUTNER CAME ON SCREEN I was awaiting for another intake of breath? It never came but the anticipation cracked me up! Hahaaa!

They kind of enhanced the contact lenses too much(like the Edward lab scene in Twilight).. which freaked me out?

I adored the scenes with Laurent, I'm quite pissed that the wolves got him, just like when James died in Twilight- I loved Cam, he just added something decent to the James role(also he's hot)!

I hate the fact that Victoria made Harry Clearwater have a heart attack, I loved him- he's such a great actor and all round funny guy!

I didn't cry at anything that I probably was supposed to, I just grew bored during all the intimate scenes between Bella and Edward and was constantly adding a

'"I'm singing from my heart now more than ever. I've gotten a lot braver with my writing."

"I know how it feels to be completely alone and helpless, and the last thing you want to hear in that situation is, 'It's going to be OK.' "The only thing that seems to really help is that someone else who has felt that low expressing those feelings to you."

"Can we please skip the Christian thing? I'm so over it. It's the lamest thing. I never wanted to be associated with it. It was a Ben thing. It's over. It's a new day."

"I'm retarded and I'm on TV"

"As a woman I feel offended because these artists portray women as people that can only do well in the world by selling their bodies. I'm determined to help prove that to be false"

"If people make fun fun of you, you must be doing something right"

"I smell burger! who has burger?!"

"When you go through tragedy, you can either let that destroy you and you become bitter and never let it go, or you can let it make you stronger and let it make you grow. And that's what I did. My lyrics are coming from a place that I want people to relate to and feel that they're not alone"

"It might not look it but rocking in a corset is harder than you think"

"My little sister was really getting into these, I don't want to offend anyone, but like really fake, cheesy, slutty female cracker-box idols, and it really pissed me off. She started dressing like them and she was like 8 years old. So I gave her the talk and I wrote a song."

“I was like, 'Dude, make me look bad. Please. I want to look ugly. I want to wear orange pants.'”

“Britney Spears and all that, they don’t threaten me, they don’t bother me, because they’re not talented.”

"I don't want to ever be a quote-unquote rock star. I want to just be me."

"We've been playing at like 9:30. We're used to playing at more like ten thirty or eleven. I thought you guys [people from Australia] were partiers, what the hell?"

"Too bad you can't quote the look on my face."

"It's OK to laugh at me, I only look scary."

"Inspiration comes in the middle of the night when you should be doing homework."

"If people make fun of you, it probably means you're doing something right."

"Kiss my f*cking ass in D-Minor."

"Don't be afraid of the shadows, it only means there's a light nearby."

"Nobody's perfect. I'm perfectly flawed."

"We're all fallen, but at the same time we're not broken. There is the hint that we are going to get up again."

"I don't want to be Christina Aguilera. I want to be Amy Lee, rock queen - not sex queen."

"I'm just a princess in a rock-star age"

"Everyone on the bus can laugh at me, and I'll be like, 'Screw you guys: I look good!'"

"Every time a cool rock chick or actress seems to respect themselves as a strong woman, I'm like, 'Yeah!' And I love them, and they're my girls. And then they start to go downhill and people aren't paying attention anymore. So they start stripping their clothes off, because that's all they have left. I swear to everything I've ever known, I will never do that"

"Honestly I just wear what I like. You know why? 'Cause I can, I'm a rock star.""We've never been a religious band, but the media wants us to be."

"That's where I spent of lot of my high-school years -- in the closet. It wasn't too cramped, but you do get really hot."

"I was always a drama queen. I remember playing in the kitchen, trying to get my mom to think I was dead and call the police. When she didn't, I would cry. I was always theatrical. I don't think any of my relatives are surprised. When we younger, Ben would come over and I'd come down the steps wearing some huge petticoat that I stole from school."

"I experienced a little bit of trauma in my childhood, and I'm constantly trying to be get back there. I'm obsessed with anything that takes me back to when I was 6,7,8."

"I think that our lyrics are defintely dark, but I know for a fact that we pull our

"All you need is luv, but what about me"
What abouts me??
whats about mes??
I don'ts feel good...
my dogs not well...
makes me sad...
makes dog sad...
FUCKING bubble keeps appearing on the toolbar..
it tells me that there is little/no space
on disk drive H...
I knows this..
I says..
I knows this..
I knew this before you even appeared..
YOU LITTLE FUCKING PRICK OF A BUBBLE,
WHY ARE YOU YELLOW, WHY IS THE DRIVE FULL..
GRRRR.. I'LL GETS YOU..
I says...

and I will...

People laughs at me..
says I strange..
but I'm not strange..
I says..
they laughs more..
blood rushes to my head..
I tells them that..
they laugh..
this time theys laugh uncertain..
I now laughs..
cos they uncertain..
I tells them to stop laughing..
It makes me angry..
I says..
they laughs..
not as loud or sincere this time..
I scowls..
they sees me..
they uncertain..
I growls...
they whimper..
makes me laugh..
I gets car...
I drives fast..
I drives fast in their direction..
they trys to jump out the way..
just a bit too slow..
I saids not to make me angry..
I says..
they whimper louder..
I laughs louder..
I stamps foot on accelerator..
theys just a bit too slow..

BANG...

they laughs no more..

*story to be continued*

2 days later..

*story continues..*

"Where's the luv? And where are my keys?"
kiera asks..
I dunno! I dunno where your keys is..
I says..
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING KEYS..
she says..
I dunno kieradoodles..
I says..
she don't believe me..
Honestly doodles, I never took your keys..
me says..
HONEST..
me adds..
she still don't believe me..
she has anger in her eyes..
I dunno..
I says..
I dunno..
me voice goes small..
She decends on me..
she is EVILS..
I tells her that..
she laughs..
she laughs like MANIAC she does..
she still can't find her keys..
her looks is evils..
makes me squel..
makes me squel like church mouse
caught in a trap..
I questions kiera..
I questions her like the mouse..
like the mouse questions the priest..
the supposid man of faith..
why is she mean..
why is the priest mean..
she shouts loud..
she wants to know where I gots the car..
the car that's covered in blood..

the mouse looks into the priests eyes..

I STILL DON'T KNOW WHERE MY FUCKING KEYS ARE WHATLEY!
the priest screams..
the church mouse gets scared..
then gets angry..
nobody calls church mouse whatley..
I tells priest that..
priest backs down...
stunned..
church mouse shouts..
shouts at priest..
I shout at kiera..
I only wants you to be happy..
I says..
the priest shouts now..
but what about that car?..
what about it mouse?..
church mouse explains..
they were laughing at me..
I says..
makes mouse mad..
mouse had to kill em...
twas the only way..
the church mouse gives priest keys..
you may borrow the car..
mouse says..
priest takes keys..
why are the keys covered in blood?..
priest asks..
mouse gets nervous...
mouse then says..
well you know your cat, priest?..

what happened was...

Well.. thing is..
church mouse says to priest..
your cat was eating cheese..
my cheese!..
and I wanted cheese..
church mouse asked nicely..
I says..
Can I has my cheese?..
but cat laughed..
and church mouse gets angry
when people laugh..
so church mouse gets car..
church mouse drives fast..
quite fast..
but kept it at 30..
so there was an 80%
chance that cat would live..
things didn't go to plan..
cos you see..
the 'TH!NK, drive safely' advert..
well it's a load of bull..
church mouse had to get rid of evidence..
so I used the keys to get the fur
off the bonnet..
I see's kiera's eyes..
MY CAT BEST BE ALRIGHT..
priest is mad..
OR ILL KILL YOU MYSELF..
AND I'M NOT CLEANING THE FUCKING CAR!..
FUCKING HELL WHATLEY!!!!!
priest does it again...
church mouse thought that he'd
made himself clear..
church mouse gets angry..
whatley?
church mouse asks priest..
you don't learn..
church mouse swipes keys..
I gets car..
I driv