I wish that all the ladies
were bricks in a pile
and i was a mason
I'd lay them all in style

I wish that all the ladies
were pies on a shelf
and I was a baker
I'd eat'em all myself

I wish that all the ladies
were holes in the road
and I was a dump truck
I'd fill'em with my load

I wish that all the ladies
were statues of venus
and I was a sculptor
I'd break'em with my ...

I wish all the ladies,
were cabbage in patch,
and I was a farmer,
I'd pick'em by the snatch...

I wish that all the ladies,
Were grain in a bin,
And I was an auger,
I'd stick it in and spin.

I wish that all the ladies,
Were birds in the sky,
And I was a hunter,
I'd shoot 'em in the eye.

I wish all ladies
were like my computer
I'd stick in my floppy
and boot them for hours

I wish that all the ladies
Were sail boats in a race
And I was the headwind
I'd blow in their face

I wish that all the ladies
were buns on the shelf
and if i was a baker
id cream them all myself

I wish that all the ladies
were waves in the ocean
and if i was a surfer
id ride them with my motion

I wish that all the ladies
were bricks in the wall
and if i was a bricklayer
i would lay them all

I wish that all the ladies
were bells in the tower
and if i was a bell boy
i'd dong them every hour

I wish that all the ladies
were sheep in the grass
and if i was an aussie
id f*** them up the arse

I wish that all the ladies
were fish in a pool
and if I was a fisherman
I’d catch ‘em with my tool

I wish that all the ladies
were brown paper bags
and I was a butcher
I’d fill ‘em with my snags

I wish that all the ladies
were wind out at sea
and I was a sail boat
then they’d all blow me!

I wish that all the ladies
were jockeys in a race
and I was a saddle
they’d sit upon on my face