Location: Smoking Room, Freakscene, Cork City, Ireland.
Time: 1.35
Setting: Smokey?

Back Story: Some dude is staring at me. I've had a few drinks and I decide it'd be a good idea to confront him. But by the time I get to him I've already forgotten my gripe with the fellow and I decide to introduce myself.

(Shakes hands with aforementioned stranger)

Rory: 'Hey how are you?'
Stranger: 'Good Good'
Rory: 'Yea'

(still shaking hands)

Stranger: 'I jack off with this hand'

(we stop shaking hands)

Stranger: 'What hand do you use?'
Rory: 'Well I have to use both hands'

(stranger looks confused)

Stranger: 'You have 2 dicks??'
Rory: 'What?'

A poem by Rory......
I wish I was a munchican
So I could bunchican
My underwear between my cheeks.
(oh yes I wish)
I was a munchican
so I could punchican
some oompa loompa's in the teeth
(oh yes I wish)
I was a munchican
so I could lunchican
with all my friendy peeps
(and after that)
I think I'll buy a ranch
and wear those obnoxious hats
and drive around in those white cars
with the gawdy bull horns on the bonnet
and a horn that goes
-dadada da dadadadada da dada-
http://www.carcoverkingdom.com/audio...
(to get an audio version.)
and I can go heehaw!!! and stuff
OH a pirates life is a life for me
hohoho and a bottle of rum etc etc.
I wish I was a poet.....
*sigh* wheres that rope....
I've had enough of being a munchican.
being discriminated against because of my height
and not being discriminated aaginst because of my height.
(Oh yes I wish)
I wasn't a munchican
So I couldn't bunchican
My underwear between my cheeks.
(oh yes I wish)
I wasn't a munchican
so I couldn't punchican
some oompa loompa's in the teeth
(oh yes I wish)
I wasn't a munchican
so I couldn't lunchican
with all my friendy peeps
(oh yes I wish....) FADE OUT(everybody hurts by R.E.M
playing in the background)


FIN

2 OSCARS, 4 OLIVIAS, AND 22 STANDING OVATIONS.

one last final glimpse of a white rose lying in a
pool of blood lying in a pool of light....
beautiful.....

FIN

thats French for 'FIN' and not a part of a fish
'cause that would be wierd....

This was for you Upsidedown Goldfish
keep on trekking....

Indeed.....
Indeed......
INDEED!!!!!!!

zoom out from me posing on my knees (PLATOON STYLE)
with my head thrown back screaming

I wish I was a munchican
So I could bunchican
My underwear between my cheeks.
(oh yes I wish)
I was a munchican
so I could punchican
some oompa loompa's in the teeth
(oh yes I wish)
I was a munchican
so I could lunchican
with all my friendy peeps
(and after that)
I think I'll buy a ranch
and wear those obnoxious hats
and drive around in those white cars
with the gawdy bull horns on the bonnet
and a horn that goes
-dadada da dadadadada da dada-
and I can go heehaw!!! and stuff
OH a pirates life is a life for me
hohoho and a bottle of rum etc etc.
I wish I was a poet.....
*sigh* wheres that rope....
I'

Coors Light.....born high in the Rocky mountains my ass!!!!! Beer comes from distilleries NOT the Rockies or the Alps for that matter...Assholes with their false advertising!!! I'll kill 'em all with my hurtful (but heartfelt) lyrics!!!!!