''I'm one of those guys who's mentally tough and understands that things happen and it's not always easy, When things are looking bad, the way you react, shows your character and what you can deal with in life." - Tupac

There's only 1 Conroy

Here's just a few facts to add to his legend:

Conroy is the only man to ever defeat
a brick wall in a game of tennis.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of
creatures Conroy allows to live.

When Conroy was born, the nurse said,
"Holy Cow! That's Conroy!" Then she had sex with him. At
that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

Conroy owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.


When Conroy goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Conroy could use to kill you, including the room itself.

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Joe Shaw Mcgrerror borrowed two pounds from Conroy and forgot to pay him back.

Conroy can count backwards from infinity.

Crop circles are Conroy's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

When Conroy jumps into a pool of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Conroy instead.

In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Conroy, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

Conroy is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.

Conroy has two speeds: walk and kill.

Conroy is the reason why Wally is hiding.

Conroy can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass, At night.

You are what you eat. That is why Conroy's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

Conroy once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

Conroy played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

If you were to lock Conroy in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this, Conroy replied "Because Grammy's are for queers!" Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response. =)

When Conroy does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Conroy invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Stu Tompson invented pink.

Conroy coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

Conroy haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.

The eternal connundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Conroy punched himself in the face.

XD