These are some of the funny/retarded/stupid/annoying things that clubbers have said or done to me. Any other djs will know what im on about and if you have a story to tell please leave a comment.
Please note most of these are indeed women.



SONG REQUESTS:


'will you play 'its your birthday by 50 cent'??'....they actually mean 50cent-in the club.

'will you play some eddie halliwell?'....eddie halliwell doesnt have any tracks..hes just a dj.

its half ten...bar has only 50 or 60 in it so far and your gettin crowd in the mood with bit of hip hop...sum dope cums up...'will you play tiesto'....retard!!!

'will you play the new one by freddy mercury?'.....this was what i got when mika brought out 'grace kelly'..ok maybe he does sound bit like him but in all fairness freddy is dead!!(rip)

'will you play bleeding love by leona lewis?'....no are you retarded its a fucking nightclub!!!!

or a person comes up and requests a song thats actually already playing..yes this has happened 3/4 times.

people tend to fuck up artists with songs that are very popular...cant remember the exact names but something similar to 'sexy back by george michael will ya'

when they ask for a song and you say u dont have it etc...they stand there sayin to themselves..."hmm what could you play for me...what will i request"....what the fuck?...are you requestin a song just for the sake of requesting a song.






MICROPHONE REQUESTS:


stupid shit like: 'tell ted his mam is hot and eoin likes it up the ass...cumon nemo'

when you say happy birthday and the person comes up...'say it again they didnt hear you'

'tell mary that john loves her'....its not the fuckin love zone

'can u tell connor hes gay'

if i had a euro for eveytime i heard 'leave me talk into the mic'



WHEN YOU REFUSE A REQUEST:


When you refuse to play a song you get the old 'your shit dj' line...my god..

People that think they know better than you...'oh go on play it...everyone loves it i bet ya the dancefloor will be full'...pity ther requesting a shite track like...i duno..sumtin shit that only she likes....

another line when u refuse a request...'your a dj...your paid to play what we want...you have to play my song...its ur job...if u dont il complain you and youl get fired...'.......to which i calmly reply....fuck off!!!

another beaut.....if u refuse a song...'dont you know who i am?...my dad owns the place..'...pity im workin there and obv know who the owners are!!! muppets.

people try grab the gear in an attempt to magically put on there song!

guys dont but the odd girl has act swung for me...

when you say you dont have the song in particular they come back with "well what do you have?"...eh what the fuck...ju want me to start naming out all my songs?

Podge&Rodge

How did Podge and Rodge all come about?
Podge: What do you mean ‘come about’?
Rodge: Once we saw Tubridy get his own chat show, we knew anyone could.
Podge: It was about time someone started asked relevant questions of D-list celebs.
Rodge: Who else can find out from Afternoon Show ladies if the hat matches the purse?

Who and/or what are your influences?
Podge: It was Sadaam until he was caught. Now I’d say Osama. And I take my style from Hugh Hefner
Rodge: Podge would be my main influence. And then probably Fergus Gibson - mainly ‘cos I can’t afford Russell Grant’s phone lines.

What are the highlights for Podge and Rodge?
Podge: Ah it would have to be the lovely Caroline Morahan. Jaysus, she could suck a bullock through a hedge backwards with those lips!
Rodge: I’m more of a Seoige man meself. Although having Jodie Marsh on was a bit of a thrill. She’s a dirty one.

Who would you recommend should represent Ireland in the next Eurovision?
Podge: Ah stick in J-Lo again. He’s a guaranteed winner. Johnny Logan that is. Not the J-Lo with the big butt.
Rodge: I don’t know Podge, he fills those white suits more than he used to.

Folks say Cork is the real capital of Ireland, what do you think?
Podge: Never been. Not even sure where it is.
Rodge: I know they talk funny though?
Podge: And inbreeding gives them faces like off-cuts of meat. Brendan O’Connor is a good example.
Rodge: What was the question again?

Anything interesting coming up?
Podge: We’ve a few more good guests coming up on the show.
Rode: And a few shite ones.
Podge: Then we’re bringing our Desperate for Housewives show back to the Vicar Street in Dublin in April to look for a wife.
Rodge: And if it doesn’t work this time, we’re going to save up for a bride from the “From Russia With Love” catalogue.

Any last thing you’d like to say to readers?
Rodge: Can people in Cork read?
Podge: They’re better with pictures but they can read a bit Rodge.
Rodge: Ok so - well done

I want to tell that little boy his mum will be just fine
I want to tell that dad we got his daughter out in time
I want to tell that wife her husbend will be home tonight
I dont want to tell them it Is like it Is , i want to tell them lies.

you didnt put there seat belts on,you feel you killed your kids
I want to say you didnt but in a way you did
you pound your fists into my chest, your hurting so inside
I want to say you'll be ok, I want to tell you lies

you left chemicals with in his reach , and now its in his eyes
I want to say your son will see not tell you now hes blind
you ask me if he'll be ok with pleading in your eyes
I want to say that yes he will, i want to tell you lies.

I can see you crying as your life goes up In smoke
If you maintained that smoke alarm,your childern may have woke
dont grab my arm and ask me If your family is alive
dont make me tell you there all dead
I want to tell you lies

I want to say that shes ok you didnt take her life
I hear you say you love her and youd never hurt your wife
you taught you didnt drink that much, you taught that you could drive
I dont want to say how wrong you were
I want to tell you lies

you only left her for a moment , It happens all the time
how could she fall from there you taught she could not climb
I want to say her necks not broke I want to say shes fine
I dont want to say shes paralyzed
I want to tell you lies

you left the cabinet open and your daughter found the gun,
now you want me undo the damage that has been done
you tell me shes your only child and that shes only 5
I dont want to say she wont make 6 I want to tell you lies

he fell into the pool while you went to get the phone,
It was only for a second you left him there alone ,
If you left the damb thing ring perhaps your son might be alive,
but I dont want to tell you that I want to tell you lies

the fact that you were speeding caused that car to overturn
and we could not get them out in time before the whole thing burned,
did they suffer? yes they did as they slowely burned alive
but I dont want to say those words I want to tell you lies.

but I have to tell you like it is , until my shift is done
and then the real lies then begin when I come home to you,
you ask me how my day went and I say it went fine ,
I hope you understand dear why I have to tell you lies ....

written by all the emt and serving personals of
government forces .