Back when I lived the strange altar-universe known male teenagery, I thought sex was my enemy. Listening to the majority of preaching I heard in the church I formed a little mantra that helped me control my "hellish" hormones:

"Sex is dirty, perverted and sinful; so save it for the one you love."

The Bible gives us a very different picture however. The first time Adam and Eve got together God wasn't in heaven thinking "Whoa! Wait a minute...I never meant for that to happen!" It didn’t knock God off the throne, he didn't make the angels leave the room, in fact, he said it was good.

In the middle of your Bible is a little book that Hebrew boys were not allowed to read until they were age 13 (which was the age after which boys could legally marry). The Song of Songs is a book about sex between a bride and groom. This book smashes many assumptions that some hold to. Consider the following:

1. Procreation and children are never mentioned in the book, much to the chagrin of those holding fast to the Roman Catholic tradition which teaches that sex is just for reproducing, not pleasure.

2. Neither is this a book about me and Jesus. Song of Songs 7.7 reads

"Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. 8 I said, "I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit. May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine...”

Now, as a man, trying to impose this language to my relationship with Jesus brings a crazy homo-erotic element that I will avoid at all costs. If a dude can easily read this book and think about his relationship to Jesus, much counselling is needed.

3. It poetically but dogmatically asserts that lovemaking is best between one man and one woman in the commitment of one lifetime. No affairs, no adultery, no harem, no sleeping with your girlfriend. This book says that marital love is like wine which gets better with time. Our society on the other hand tells us that marital sex is like milk, so enjoy it for a little while but then move on to another container before the first gets funky.

4. Praise be to our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ for the fact that it smashes the old Victorian notions of proper female sexuality. Victorian morality taught that "a proper woman must pretend that she does not enjoy sex". The babe in the Song of Songs however is the one who begins the book and does most of the initiating and talking throughout. She delights greatly in her husband’s lovemaking. Thank you Jesus, this is godly.

What advice can I leave you young men with?:
1. Don't cast out your hormones, they're not demons. In fact, they will come in handy later on when you’re married.

2. Sex in marriage is good, so if you feel like your sex drive is driving you crazy, then let it be motivation for marriage at a young age. Go out, get two or three jobs, move away from ma and pa, get your own place, find a girl who loves Jesus and get married. (Mannafest has a guy: girl ratio of 1:2, so don't tell me you can't find anyone! You're fishing in a stocked lake.)

3. Don't believe this world’s lies that "stolen waters are sweet." Sex outside of marriage (including porn) will only hurt you in the long run. Sinful habits now will not be easily broken once you are married (as you may think). Remember, everytime you look at porn, somewhere a puppy is killed.

4. Though we still have to deal with the consequences of our actions, there is grace and forgiveness for those who trust in Jesus. You are not the only guy in the world having these struggles, most of your mates just don't talk about it...its not typical chip shop converstaion. And don't think that it will all be over if you get sprinkled with angel dust at a Mannafest metting! This a a marathon struggle, think self-control for the next 50 years. Don't let a few lost battles keep you so covered with guilt that you fail to win the war by grace.

Sex is good and glorious,