Even in the dressing room afterwards, I had no remorse. My attitude was, fuck him. What goes around comes around. He got his just rewards. He fucked me over and my attitude is an eye for an eye.
Roy Keane
Talking about Alf Inge Haaland tackle, Observer Sport Monthly Magazine

Sometimes you wonder, do they understand the game of football? They have a few drinks and probably the prawn sandwiches, and they don't realise what's going on out on the pitch.
Roy Keane
On section of Old Trafford crowd

That man can rot in hell for all I care.
Roy Keane
About Ireland soccer manager Mick McCarthy, Observer Sport Monthly Magazine

I'd waited long enough. I fucking hit him hard. The ball was there (I think). Take that you cunt. And don't ever stand over me sneering about fake injuries.
Roy Keane
Talking about Alf Inge Haaland tackle, quoted in book Keane - the Autobiography

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55318008 into a calculator
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
9) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
10) Rummaging in an overgrow garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
11) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
12) the most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
13) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
14) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a frisbee.
15) You never ever run out of salt.
16) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
17) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
1 Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
19) the most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
20) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
21) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
22) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

* Pub etiquette
The crucial thing here is the "round" system, in which each participant
takes turns to "shout" an order. To the outsider, this may appear
casual; you will not necessarily be told it's your round and other
participants may appear only too happy to substitute for you. But make no mistake, your failure to "put your hand in your pocket" will be noticed. People will mention it the moment you leave the room. The
reputation will follow you to the grave, where after it will attach to
your offspring and possibly theirs as well. In some cases, it may become permanently enshrined in a family nickname.

* Woolly jumpers
Ireland produces vast quantities of woollen knitwear and, under a
US/Irish trade agreement, American visitors may not return to the
States without a minimum of two sweaters, of which one at least must be
predominantly green. Airline staff may check that you have the required
documentation before you are allowed to disembark.
Note: under no circumstances will you see an Irish person wearing a
woollen jumper. These jumpers are worn solely by Americans to identify them to muggers, thieves and knackers.

* Irish people and the weather
It is often said that the Irish are a Mediterranean people who only
come into their own when the sun shines on consecutive days (which it
last did around the time of St Patrick). For this reason, Irish people dress for conditions in Palermo rather than Dublin; and it is not
unusual in March to see young people sipping cool beer outside city pubs and cafes, enjoying the air and the soft caress of hailstones on
their skin. The Irish attitude to weather is the ultimate triumph of
optimism over experience: Every time it
rains, we look up at the sky and are shocked and betrayed. Then we go out and buy a new umbrella.

* Ireland has two time-zones
(1) Greenwich Mean Time and (2) "local" time. Local time can be anything between ten minutes and three days behind GMT, depending on the position of the earth and the whereabouts of the man with the keys to the hall. Again, the Irish concept of time has been influenced by the thinking of 20th century physicists, who hold that it can only be measured by reference to another body and can even be affected by factors like acceleration. For instance, a policeman entering a licensed premises in rural Ireland late at night is a good example of another body from whom it can be reliably inferred that it is fact closing time. When this happens, acceleration is the advised option. Shockingly, the relativity argument is still not acepted as a valid defence in the Irish courts.

* Irish Dancing
There are two main kinds of Irish dancing: (1) Riverdance, which is now
simultaneously running in every major city in the world except Ulan
Bator and which some economists believe is responsible for the Irish
economic boom; and (2) real Irish dancing, in which men do not wear
frilly blouses and you still may not express yourself, except in a
written note to the adjudicators.

* The wearing of the green
Strangely enough, Irish people tend to wear everything except green,
which is associated with too many national tragedies, including 1798,
the Famine and the current Irish soccer team. It's possible that green
just doesn't suit the Irish skin colour, which is generally pale blue
(see Weather).

* Gaelic
St Patrick's Day brings the climax of the club championships in Gaelic
games, which combine elements of the American sports of gridiron and
baseball but are played with an intensity more associated with Mafia
turf wars. The two main games are "football" and "hurling", the chief
difference being that in football, the fights are unarmed. There is
also "camogie," which is like hurling, except that in fights the hair
may be pulled as well.


* Schools rugby
St Patrick's Day also brings the finals in schools rugby, a game based
around the skills of wrestling, kicking, gouging, ear-biting, a