BAT - As in 'she was mingin so i bat her wit a stick'

OFF STUMP - in need of viagra

YORKER - full length delivery, similar to student nurses ' you dont see one coming until its under you'

STUMPED - castrated

WICKETS - bone disorder caused by absence of vitamins

WICKET - male reprodcutive organ

WICKET-KEEPER - female reprodcutive organ

RUNS - diahhrea

RUN OUT - of nightclub by bouncer

BOUNCER - Short Pitched delivery, burly man outside licenced premises

SWING - lateral movement of ball, as in ' i made a swing, missed by two feet and joulted the wicket keeper'

REVERSE SWING - 'and then he joulted me back'

SEAMER - bowler with premature ejaculation issues

FREDDIE - common name for tall, ugly English cricketer

LEG BREAK - Shane Warne spinning delivery, what happens to people outside the market

BAIL - Placed on top of stumps, what keeps Liverpool fans on the streets

MAIDEN - over where no runs are conceded, very hard to find in UL

PULL SHOT - Back foot drive on front of square on the on side, the drink that pushes a normal girl on to her knees

OUT ON THE PULL- Caught at mid-wicket, any Friday/Saturday night in Limerick City

NO-BALL - Man who has been stumped

SLOWER BALL - the kind of ball who would go to LIT

HOLLY -- e.g. "I gave it holly"---I put a fair bit of effort into it.

B0LLIX----Pat Spillane or any kerry players or supporters

MIGHTY---Very good

HAMES---A right ****e-e.g.-"He made a hames of that chance"

TIMBER---Intimidation of a hurling opponent - e.g.- "Show him some timber"

LAMP----A good thump---e.g.-"I swung for the sliotar, missed by 3 feet and lamped the full back"

A CROWD---A gathering of people who watch a match and hope for random acts
of violence -e.g-Meath supporters

SCHKELP---To remove living tissue in the absence of surgical procedures -- e.g. "That whore from Tipp took a schkelp outta me leg"

HATCHET MAN---Mountainy type, uses hunter/gatherer instincts

BULLIN'---Angry-e.g-"The centre half was bullin' after I lamped him"

BULL THICK---Very angry-e.g.-"The centre half was bull thick after I lamped him again"

JOULT---A push-e.g.-"I gave him ! a joult and he has to wear a neck brace for 2 weeks"

THE COMM-A-TEEE---Local GAA bullshitters in general

BUSHTED---An undefined soreness-e.g.-"Jayz me arm is bushted"

THE BOMBER---Popular name for a fat hairy GAA player

A HANG SANGWIDGE---Consumed with "tay" on the sides of roads after matches in Croker or Thurles, usually contains half a pound of butter

RAKE-A great amount of anything, usually pints of Guinness the night before an important match

INDANAMAJAYSUS (in-da-nama-Jaysus)--! -What was that for referee?

YA B0LLIX YA---Corner back's formal recognition of a score by his opponent

LEH-IT-IN-TA-FcuK-WUD-YA---Full forwards appeal to a midfielder for a more timely delivery of the pass

MULLOCKER---Untidy or awkward player released for matches

BURST THE B0LLIX---Instructions from the sideline to tackle your man

ROW---Disagreement involving four or more players

MASSIVE ROW---Disagreement involving both teams, including goalies, substitutes and supporters jumping fences

ALL-HELL-BROKE-LOOSE---A massive row that continues out in the parking area or
dressing room areas, usually resolved by the Gardai

Some random musings of Mr. Arsene Wenger, genius, gentleman, and manager of the magnifcent Gunners, the crème de la crème i.e. better than you!:

Wenger - "We scouted him for two years, every minute of every game, we even went to see him training many times, even though we were not let in/"
Reporter - "How did you manage that?"
Wenger - "With a hat and a moustache"
- On Jose Antonio Reyes


"I don't see how much more we could have done. I just think my players were absolutely magnificent, they were heroes tonight but unfortunately they were not rewarded. We will work with them to transform their frustration to come back. This team deserves a lot of credit, we lost one game in Europe all season when it was 10 versus 11 in the Final."
after that heartbreaking 2-1 defeat at the Stade de France


We could have scored more."
after beating Middlesbrough 7-0 at Highbury

"I think he was very down at half-time and he felt guilty. I took him off because I felt that he was too down to come back. You always want your players to stay, but there are exceptional circumstances so you can understand what he did. He did not do it meaning disrespect to the Club or to the team. I feel he is very, very down. That’s the only issue he had tonight."
after Sol Campbell's half-time departure against West Ham