Derek Holden Esquire
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Garçon, 24,
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- Slogan
- the rewards of being pleasant are far more incandescent
- À propos de moi
- I don't want to appear selfish, but stop what you're doing and focus on me!
Hi there, I'm Derek,
Well, where do I begin?
I am a janitor at a college. Most people think I am dumb but I can look at a math equation and solve it immediately. Sometimes, when I'm cleaning I'll solve an equation...like that! (I just clicked my fingers) for shits and giggles.
I have a genius-level intellect, eidetic memory and a profound gift for mathematics.
As I mentioned earlier I work as a janitor. I live alone in a sparsely furnished apartment in a rundown neighborhood.
An abused foster child, I subconsciously blame myself for my unhappy upbringing and turn this self-loathing into a form of self-sabotage in both my professional and emotional lives.
Oh and my best friend is Ben Affleck
Relationship Status: D.T.F.
I'm tired of the whole bar scene, the one-night hookups, I'm looking for a soulmate, someone who I can love and cuddle... [pauses] or so it says in my profile.
- Mon autre moitié
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one half of The El dude Brothers
- Music
- Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip, AMOS LEE (please listen to this guy) Cat Stevens, Harry Chapin, Damien Rice, Ray Lamontagne, Mick Flannery, Snow Patrol, Arctic Monkeys, The Fratellis, Kings of Leon, Creed, Hinder, Nickelback, Bell X1, Jeff Buckley, Neil Young, James Blunt, CSS, Arcade Fire, Razorlight, Duke Special, Bird York, Josh Groban, Dixie Chicks, Creedence, Pigeon Detectives, Nikka Costa, Rammstein, Metallica, Timabaland. Love 80's music and 50's Rock n' Roll and Motown. Basically I'm into anything except none of that DJ Tiesto malarky (by the way he is NOT God) or any of that Euphoria stuff!!
- Films
- HOT ROD, BLADES OF GLORY, Anchorman, A night At The Roxbury, Talladega Nights, Elf, Old School, hmmmm I'm starting to see a trend forming here
Zoolander, Dodgeball, The Waterboy, Happy Gilmore, Napoleon Dynamite, Super Troopers, 40 Year Old Virgin, Reno 911 and everything with Jim Carrey!!!
But I can watch something other than comedy like No country for old men, 300, Pan's Labyrinth, Rocky Anthology, The Sea Inside, Amelie, Before Sunrise/Before Sunset, The Rules of Attraction, Vanilla Sky, Hitch, Crash, Big Fish, Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice, Blow, Finding Neverland, Chocolate, Superman movies, (not Spiderman) Bourne movies, and the list goes on and on and on...but not too fond of scary movies (I'm too jumpy) - Sports
- You are my Arsenal,
My only Arsenal,
You make me happy,
When skies are grey,
You'll never know just,
How much I love you,
So please don't take,
My Arsenal...Away
......I love Arsenal even though they break my heart!!
and I love a good game of footie. I also enjoy watching Hurling (was pretty crap at the actual playing though, despite having Kilkenny blood in me) - Scared Of
- Ladyboyz, SPIDERS and Carnies! You know circus folk, Nomads you know, small hands, smell like cabbage. I'm also a little intimidated by the dark. What! It's perfectly normal! Also as of late Static on the tv (dam white noise!) oh and Michelle when she's sneaks up on me. The future!Global Warming! The alarming rise in numbers of knackers in Tralee!! Getting old
( Ghosts in Graces 
- Happiest When
- I'm out with friends, drunkin dancin to 80's music with pat (if he hasn't gone home) n' sla3, playing soccer, beating Sla3 and James (the pendulum has swung!) in Pro Evo and day dreaming during class. Lying in bed when it's raining outside. Oh ya! That's the stuff. Drunken talking to random people. (although when you see them sober...ya that's not so great is it) Talks at the end of a night with Padraig about 'Life' You know what I'm talking about bra! When the pints are going down nicely How worrying is it that alot of my happy times are when I'm drinking! A new one..the morning after drinking and when I'm still drunk!! Good Times!
- Derek's Dislikes
- (1) RUGBY!!! to gain an advantage in this game you throw the ball backwards or kick it out of play.C'mon people, get with the frickin programme! (2) GLORYHUNTERS (3) Being politically correct (4) People who just walk out in front of you after leaving a banklink and then slow down while getting their money in order. GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! (5) When you put your hand out for the change and they almost go out of their way to put it on the counter. (6) People collecting money in town who are always hassling you (7) People who are waiting for the "pop factor", this is when their head will finally come out of their ass!! (
Those who chew their food with their mouths open. It's especially annoying with gum. (9) losing (10) scumbags (11) Aggressive drunks!! and aggressive people (12) People who ask for ipod earphones (13) Prams (14) music played in horans (15) conceited people (16) arsenal not winning (17) studying - These MTV 'reality' shows
- like The Hills, Hogan knows best, Laguna beach and so on and on and on!!!
What does the 'M' stand for again!
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- How well do you know Derek? 34 participants
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Ok, so you have to have sex with one: either..
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classic mermaid, bottom half fish, top half human
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or inverted mermaid, top half fish, bottom half human
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classic mermaid, bottom half fish, top half human
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who do you think would win in a fight between a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco?
- grilled cheese sandwich
- taco
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Who would you rather hear the breaking news from?
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Georgie Thompson
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Di Stewart
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Natalie Sawyer
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Millie Clode
- other...
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Georgie Thompson
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It isn't easy to be the devil
The devil said to Buddha:
- It isn't easy to be the devil. When I speak I have to use enigmas so that people do not realize the temptation. I always need to appear smart and intelligent so that people admire me. I spend lots of energy convincing a few disciples that hell is more interesting. I'm old and I would like to pass my pupils on to you.
Buddha knew that this was a trap: if he accepted the proposal, he would turn into a devil and the devil would become Buddha.
- You think it's fun to be Buddha - he answered. - Besides having to do the same things as you do, I also have to stand what my pupils do to me! They put words in my mouth that I did not say and they demand that I be wise the whole time! You could never stand a life like that!
The devil was convinced that changing roles was not really a good deal, and Buddha escaped from the temptation.
~Paulo Coelho
0 commentaires 564 jours
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Homer and his Brain
Homer after crashing the car ...
Agent:
Now, before I give you the cheque, one more question. This place "Moe's" you left just before the accident. This is a business of some kind?
Homer's Brain:
Don't tell him you were at a bar! Gasp! But what else is open at night?
Homer:
It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
Homer's Brain:
Heh heh heh. I would've never thought of that.
("Mr. Plow")
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Homer at the breakfast table ....
Homer:
Well, time to go to work.
Homer's brain:
Little do they know I'm ducking out early to take the Duff Brewery tour.
Homer:
Roll in at nine, punch out at five, that's the plan.
Homer's brain:
Heh, heh, heh. They don't suspect a thing.
[camera pans down to Homer's mouth, but he doesn't say anything]
Well, off to the plant.
Homer:
Then to the Duff Brewery.
Homer's brain:
Uh, oh. Did I say that or just think it?
Homer:
[panicky] I've got to think of a lie fast!
Marge:
Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery?
Homer:
Aah!
[Runs off]
("Duffless" [9F14])
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Homer tips his head back, closes his eyes, opens his mouth, and tosses the peanut towards his head, missing his mouth. The peanut clatters behind the couch, and after a couple of seconds, Homer observes, "Something's wrong." He gets down on his hands and knees in front of the couch and reaches underneath.
[Homer searches under the couch for a peanut]
Homer:
Hmm...ow, pointy! Eww, slimy. Oh, moving! Ah-ha!
[looks, then says remorsefully]
Ohhh, twenty dollars...I wanted a peanut!
Homer's brain:
Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer:
Explain how.
Homer's brain:
Money can be exchanged for good and services.
("Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood" [1F06])
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Bart:
[to himself] Look, Homer won't want to go, so just ask him and he'll say "No." Then it'll be his fault.
Homer:
[to himself] I don't want to go, so if he asks me to go, I'll just say, "Yes!"
Homer's brain:
Wait! Are you sure that's how this sort of thing works?
Homer:
Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!
("Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood" [1F06])
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Poker in Lenny's kitchen, Homer has just won again....
Moe:
Ha ha. Come to papa -- wait a minute! You have a straight flush, Homer! You do this every time, you -- oh, you -- oh! Gah! I'm choking on my own rage here.
Carl:
Hey, don't yell at Homer. Just 'cause he's a little slow...
Homer's Brain:
Something was said...not good. What was it?
"Don't yell at Homer!" No, that's OK. What was it? ...Slow!
They called you slow!
Homer:
[stands up, yells] How dare you call me that! I -- huh?
[Lenny walks into empty kitchen wearing night cap]
Lenny:
[opens fridge] Hey, Homer, you still here? Boy, you _are_ slow.
Homer's Brain:
Something said...not good.
Lenny:
Get the hell out of here!
("Secrets of a Successful Marriage" [1F20])
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Lisa brings Homer his pudding in the treehouse and tells him to find the thing that only he can give Marge....
Homer:
All right, Brain, it's all up to you. If you don't think of what it is, we'll lose Marge forever.
Homer's Brain:
Eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding
Homer:
OK. But then we gotta get to work.
[pigs out]
("Secrets of a Successful Marriage" [1F20])
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Hom0 commentaires 593 jours
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Paper Paper Everywhere
Notes on the ground, notes on the bed
This all means I have a pain in my head!
Eat your heart out thom yorke!
If anyone would like to organise my notes for me, that would be very much appreciated. Now I have no money to pay you but I do provide paper clips and staples myself. Although you will need to bring your own stapler.1 commentaire 601 jours
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A day at the beach
(23)
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Amsterdam (april 09)
(48)
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Alcohol was involved
(35)
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Halloween 2008
(48)
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More Halloween 2008
(8)
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The Rose of Tralee 2008
(17)
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Mount Brandon
(15)
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ARSENAL
(48)
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London/Arsenal/not many pictures
(16)
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B-E-A-UTIFUL
(24)
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Mongos
(48)
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after the ball
(17)
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Recent nights out
(48)
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WARNING!! This album contains cheesy posing!!
(42)
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Shannons Super Sunday
(49)
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Super Sunday continued
(9)
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Who Are You
(22)
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Pimps and Prostitutes
(11)
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The Streets of Tralee
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Streets of Tralee part Deux!
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Galway
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fermer Commentaires
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Daniel ConwayIl y a 17 semainesthe abbey is fairly good too ya,a change from fabric.no didnt bother goin ne where wed nyt,did u?
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Daniel ConwayIl y a 18 semaines
cool,i saw u sat nite walkin around town wen i was i on d way home
fabric was shit tho,were u der?went out fri,sat nd sun lst week,didnt bother wid mon nite..wat bout urself!!
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SuzeIl y a 18 semainesI was just after gettn to sleep you bastard
Ha the "date" was great! Jeez man I dunno which was worse the polishing or the carting the feckin vacuum all around the 2houses, got a great cardio work out though! 11 hrs again tomorrow, i know what I'll be doing this wknd...SLEEPING!!
How's you?
PS i hear your cat was giving Auntie Susan the evil eye
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Daniel ConwayIl y a 18 semaines
allo allo,how is the going wid u?did u ave a gud weekend.at it again dis weekend i spose
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Il y a 18 semaines
Suze
Ta for waking me up last night
you're lucky i had no credit because i was seriously considering txtn u at 6 this morning when my alarm went off!!! Was at work for 7.15 this morning, its gonna be a loooooooooooong day
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Il y a 20 semaines
Suze
Really?? Am...why?!? he doesnt really seem the camping type
In this weather too...hmmm....
Im going to pay off my car loan in one fell swoop today... so much for staying in and spending as little money as possible
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SuzeIl y a 20 semaines
Ha ya walk to the beach then be so exhausted by walking that far that I'd get stranded out there!!! 9 to 9 that's pretty long alright but still no i couldnt not get dressed, you lazy fecker
To be fair there would probably be a pretty long waiting list to punch him and when you did eventually get to the top of the queue would you really be able to restrain yourself to only one punch?????? -
SuzeIl y a 20 semaines
The only time I leave the house is to go driving or head to the beach for walks, god that half sounds like an attempt at an ad in the personals "enjoys drives and going for long walks on the beach"
That's why i dont have a credit card...yet
You didnt get dressed yesterday???? oooooooooooooooook
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Il y a 20 semaines
Suze
I'm hoping that it will just be a false start for him and that they're getting all his best bits now before the season starts!! Im so tired I can hardly function....no plans at all try and spend the least amount of money as possible really my car insurance is due so Im trying to negotiate
How bout you?
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Il y a 21 semaines
Suze
Well cuz how was da head after???
So Michael Owen scored his first goal for Man Utd... Its just not right
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Daniel ConwayIl y a 21 semaines
haha,jus saw ur comment now.i'd say i was still fukd alryt durin d game
u headin out 2moro nyt?
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S.Griffin CO Mike TansleyIl y a 21 semainesLets just never mention it again...!!
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Il y a 21 semaines
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Il y a 21 semaines
Suze
Hehehe You shall have to make me vice commander of the world now
Half day every Wednesday "there's an understanding" ha ha love it you sounded very mob boss there Oooh Oyster that's nice yum! When are you finishing up with work? God they will be lost without you!
Whatever bout Man City how weird does Michael Owen look in Man Utd jersey...its just not right!!!! -
Il y a 21 semaines
Suze
Hidiho
Nope on the morphine Oh my god you saddo its bad enough to watch big brother but to watch it live hehehe
Things are confused, between you me and bebo recession hitting big time & future employment status not so secure we'll see what happens I guess... Study is grand going slowly but im only working half day today then im off til next Wednesday,can i get a woohoo
How is the world of Derek, how are the plans for world domination going??
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John ConroyIl y a 21 semainesYa, i give Hughes until October before hes gone. Bellamy, Robinho, Tevez, Santa Cruz and Adebayor. Is he goin to play 1 at the back or whats his game? They wont compete for anything if they dont sort out their shitty defence. It wud be gas tho, Terry and Tevez trading champ league finals for nothing, They not even in europa league, hope them and Madrid win nothing this year. Both of them hav some gud strikers but the rest of their team's are iffy and hopefully will cost them both any chance of winning anything
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John ConroyIl y a 21 semaines
Ah shit, sickening when it hapens like that alrite, unlucky
We are in the reserve comp, thats where we wanted to be anyway. Got a game against killarney celtics under 16s thurs nite, shud be interesting.
Ya its ridiculous, yday i still loved carlos tevez, today i hate him. He will get less playing time there than if he stayed put the asshole. What u make of adebayor? I reckon ye are better off without him -
Il y a 21 semaines
shock attack
Eric Keane 0 réponses