1. She had a fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back
2. Look's like she's been dunking for apples in a chip pan
3. Had more hands up her than sooty!
4. She’s got a face like a dog lickin’ piss off a nettle.
5. It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!
6. She's! got a face that could make an onion cry.
7. I wouldn't ride her into battle.
8. Everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege
9. I wouldn’t do her with a rusty pole
10. More chins than a Chinese phone book
11. She smells like an alkies carpet
12. She has seen more japseyes than an oriental optician
13. It's like shaggin’ a pail of water.
14. A chuff like a wizards sleeve!
15. She's killed more cocks than a fowl butcher
16. Fanny like a ripped out fireplace
17. Face like a sand blasted tomato
18. Arse like a bag of washing
19. She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant
20. She's seen more helmets than Hitler
21. Face like a stuntman's knee
22. She's got a fanny like a badly packed kebab
23. Like opening the window and shagging the night
24. She's seen more cock ends than weekends
25. I left her with a face like a painter's radio
26. Fanny like a clowns pocket
27. Fanny like a Hippo's yawn
28. She's that ugly not even a sniper would take her out
29. I bet she's got a fanny like a pub carpet
30. More pricks than a second hand dartboard.
31. Face like a blind joiners thumb
32. She’s done more lengths than Duncan Goodhew
33. She's been shot over more times than Sarajevo
34. Even the tide wouldn't take her out
35. Got more finger prints on her than Scotland Yard
36. Handled more balls than Dino Zoff
37. Piss flaps like John Wayne’s saddle bags
38. She had a pair of flaps on her like a gutted trout
39. A fanny like a burst couch
40. A face like she's been ram raiding on scooters
41. She’s had more seamen than Saltcoats
42. She’s seen more stiffs than Quincy!
43. She’s seen more cokes than a bottle of bacardi!
44. Cocked more times than Elmer Fudds shotgun