Garth Algar: Benjamin is nobody's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick.

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Garth Algar: Hey Mr. Donut Man, who's trying to kill ya? I don't know but they better not!

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Wayne Campbell: Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

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Wayne Campbell: All I have to say about that is "asphinctersayswhat".
Noah Vanderhoff: What?
Wayne Campbell: Exactly.

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Garth Algar: Uhm, Wayne? What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you're gonna hurl?
Wayne Campbell: I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.

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Wayne Campbell: Am I supposed to be a man, am I supposed to say, it's OK, I don't mind. I don't mind. Well I mind! I mind big time? And you know what the worst part is? I NEVER LEARNED TO READ.
Cassandra: Is that true?
Wayne Campbell: Yes, everything except the reading part.

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Tiny: Wayne. How you doin'?
Wayne Campbell: Hey, Tiny, who's playing today?
Tiny: Jolly Green Giants and the Shitty Beetles.
Wayne Campbell: Shitty Beetles? Are they any good?
Tiny: They suck.
Wayne Campbell: Then it's not just a clever name.

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Garth Algar: Did you ever see that "Twilight Zone" where the guy signed a contract and they cut out his tongue and put it in a jar and it wouldn't die, it just grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tongues? Pretty cool, huh?

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Stacy: Happy anniversary, Wayne.
Wayne Campbell: Stacy, we broke up two months ago.
Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out, does it?
Wayne Campbell: Well, it does actually, that's what breaking up is.

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Stacy: Well, don't you want to open your present?
Wayne Campbell: If it's a severed head I'm going to be very upset
Stacy: Open it.
Wayne Campbell: What is it?
Stacy: It's a gun rack.
Wayne Campbell: A gun rack... a gun rack. I don't even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do... with a gun rack?
Stacy: You don't like it? Fine. You know Wayne, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me.
Wayne Campbell: I lost you 2 months ago. We broke up. Are you mental? Get the net!

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Alan: Do I frighten you?
Mrs. Vanderhoff: No.
Alan: Do you want me to?

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Benjamin: Wayne! Listen, we need to have a talk about Vanderhoff. The fact is he's the sponsor and you signed a contract guaranteeing him certain concessions, one of them being a spot on the show.
Wayne Campbell: [holding a Pizza Hut box] Well that's where I see things just a little differently. Contract or no, I will not bow to any sponsor.
Benjamin: I'm sorry you feel that way, but basically it's the nature of the beast.
Wayne Campbell: [holding a bag of Doritos] Maybe I'm wrong on this one, but for me, the beast doesn't include selling out. Garth, you know what I'm talking about, right?
Garth Algar: [wearing Reebok wardrobe] It's like people only do these things because they can get paid. And that's just really sad.
Wayne Campbell: I can't talk about it anymore; it's

What song makes you...

Happy?
Sad?
Depressed?
Energetic/Hyper?
Sleepy?
Angry?
Ready for Anything?
Strong(well of mind can count i guess)?
Hungry!?
Calm?
Thoughtful?
Willing to speak out/Protest?
Longing?
Love?
Turned on(in any sense of the word!)?
Wierd?
Confused?

1. Who are you?......
2. Are We Friends?.....
3. When and how did we meet?.......
4. Have we ever fallen out?........
5. Have we ever kissed?.......
6. Give me a nikname and explain why?........
8. Describe me in 1 word........
9. What was ur first impression ov me?.......
10. Do u still fink the same?......
11. What reminds u of me?.....
12. If you could giv me anything wot would it b?......
13. Eva wanted 2 tell me sumthing u couldnt?......
14. Who r u goin out with?......
15. Who do u think my best friend is?......
16. Who do you think i suit?......
17. Have u EVER fancied me? .......
18. Are you goin 2 put dis on ur blog and c wot i say about u?.