1) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2 It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c) After wrecking your boss' car.
d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e) When she is using her teeth

>(3) Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his mates.

>(4) Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

>(5) If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

>(6) Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

>(7) No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.

>( On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

>(9) When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

>(10) You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

>(11) It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.

>(12) Only in situations of Moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

>(13) Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

>(14) If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

>(15) Women who claim they "love to watch sport" must be treated as
spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sport watchers.

>(16) A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

>(17) Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both.... that's just mean.

>(1 If you compliment a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

>(19) Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a mate of yours... except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

>(20) Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a)Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

>(21) Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: Both urinating, both queuing, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

>(22) Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

>(23) The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to do it again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.

>(24) It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

>(25) Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

>(26) The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?"with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets a Playstation, end of story

You know you live in 2006 when...







1. You go to a party, sit down and take Bebo pics.















2. You havent played solitaire with real cards in years.















3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have Bebo/MySpace.















4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.















6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.














7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.















8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.














9. You were too busy to notice number five.











10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.









11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.








Repost if you fell for it. You know you did.

Whats the month you were born in

1----I sucked
2----I fucked
3----I shouted at
4----I ate out
5----I jerked off
6----I fingered
7----I licked
8----I hooked up with
9----I cuddled with
10---I slept with
11---I molested
12---I raped



Whats the date you were born on
01------an easter egg
02------a homosexual
03------a fluffy doggy
04------a cat fish
05------a horsey
06------a toothbrush
07------a evil elf
08------a prostitute
09------a blind man
10------a power ranger
11------a homo
12------Paris Hilton
13------your mom
14------a lesbian
15------an overweight Asian woman
16------a jew
17------a black pornostar
18------a moo cow
19------your daddy
20------a pork scraching
21------a bag of weed
22------a drug dealer
23------a whore
24------a pickle
25------a french fry
26------Santa Claus
27------a homeless guy
28------The frosties advert guy
29------a Mexican
30------a naked jabber
31------a condom


Whats the color of shirt you are wearing

White------Because I have a ingrowing nipple
Black-------Because I have a gigantic penis
Pink--------Because I have amazing boobs
Red---------Because I love giving blow jobs
Blue--------Because Im a loser
Green------Because I hate my life
Purple------Because Im gay
Gray--------Because I was wasted
Orange-----Because fiona told me to
Polka Dot--Because I have an extreamly small dick
Other-------Because I smoke crack
Your answers
1)-
2)-
3)-