It was nearly 5’ O clock on a Friday afternoon
I flared up me last fag
An put on me fave tune
Ooh my I’m sober and surprised
Doc says I gotta watch me cholesterol
Cos I’ve been advised not to drink Pint-sized!
I must admit I felt a little bit surprised
I get a knock at the door
My boys are here
Which means the clubs are drawin’ near!
Now my spirits have lifted
I couldn’t resist a real treat
I’m feelin’ gifted
Stick my phone on discrete
As we get in the Clio
Sat on the backseat chattin with Dan & Rio
Me an the boys back by popular demand
Sweet now lets pull some slags
Its all been planned!

So we get to the club an start the banta
Drinkin’ vodka an fanta
What the fuk’s this?
Oi love fancy a French Kiss?
One thing led to another
An she’s going down under
So I took a few glances to improve me chances
I’m feelin’ the vibe
But its hard to describe
I look over me shoulder
It seems Dans disappeared
He must of scored
So I down my beer
An I start to cheer
Looks like I’m making me own way back tonight
But there’s plently more whores
An to my delight
I might get the invite
If you know what I mean

20 minutes later
An ive defiantly scored
She aint to bad either
Short skirt long hair
Nor a brunette neither
What a result!
She’s got me on my toes my eyes alert
Pull the collar on my shirt
Shall we start to flirt?
So I reach for my last fiva
Aww shit I can’t afford
My apologies I must of spent it
On that last apple shot cord
She says its okay
An she pays for the taxi
While Im feelin guilty
I change the subject
I said err that’s a nice coat love
She sticks her tongue down me throat
An she’s a bit of a biter
Look love this is strictly a one nighter

When we get to her place
We make our self’s comfy on her 3-piece suit
Fuk the coffee lets make a mess on your bedroom sheet
First things first man where’s the andrex?
Good job I got me reflex
Would of gone on my V-neck
Payed a tenna for it
an I wouldn’t want that
Step out the bathroom
I get a text from me ex
It’s too late now ive already kissed her
Somethin tells me I can’t resist
Another round of safe sex
Sandy’s still feelin randy
It’s Mandy, yeah woteva
One more time hunny
But me ex is still on me mind
Look its not funny

A twisted reality of woes eh?
Who knows? Awww where’s me clothes?
Got a odd sock
I keep looking at the clock
Wish I could just skip away
An put me dick away
Your dreaming, Im starin in your eyes till they disappear
Wait till that split second point hits me
Startin to feel used
My attitudes changed
I brush her hair back
Take one last smell
An kiss her on the forehead
I started to feel the cold
Just as she was about to unfold
Aww shit turns out she’s Fifteen
What a fuckin bitch
Don’t act like you’re a Queen

I say my goodbye tryin to leave the venue
Looking for a distraction
Isn’t that your computer menu?
Obsessive Msn girliys askin how her nite went
Oh no here we go again
Now She’s given me a percent
If I’d known I would of asked for consent
Should have just shagged the whore next door
Don’t be bitter love
You’re uncharacteristic of
Thank God I getta text say I gotta go again
My brother wants sum J20
Im feeling like a right plank
God ive been skanked!
2 days ago she was a virgin
Yeah right an I’m a fuckin brain surgeon!

So we don’t read the papers an we don’t watch the news
We stand on our own two feet
People trying’ to tell us what to do
An if that’s the way it is
Ile be gone by May

Chorus:
And of all the things that I wish I had not said
Are all loops of madness walking through my mind
I should’ve stopped you from walking out the door
Is it too late to remind you how we were?

Peeling back the label of my watered down lager
Staring into space when everything’s getting darker
It’s begging to get to me
So I pull out a photograph
I feel dizzy, light and free
Somehow everything I own smells of you
Are you beginning to get my point?
You made me happier than I’d been by far.

Chorus x1:

But I still love you more than anyone else could
What was it I did wrong?
More than anything all I want is you in my arms
Because that’s where you belong
I want you to stay
Don’t go let the conversation flow
We’ve got through worse before
What’s so different you can’t ignore?
This isn’t a silly teenage crush
Its razor sharp, like an arrow through the heart
It gives me such a rush

Chorus x1:

I’d do anything for you
I would be your slave
Cos at the end of the day
I just want to call you babe
I hope that your heart opens
Give me something to hold on to
Being without you is driving me insane
Fucked left right and centre
Help me with this pain
So let’s talk about it
Cos I can’t do without it
It seems the feelings you had are through
Looks like I still haven’t got it
So I might as well quit
You’re messing with my head
But why do I let you back in?

Chorus x1

I’m not trying to say that I’m the real deal
Or even drop down to my heals and squeal
But compared to the rest
I wouldn’t hurt you
But you still haven’t guessed
A bit muggy granted
It doesn’t matter cos I’m broken-hearted!
I never withdrew on you
So I hope were not through
But for now I’ve pulled my sleeves around my heart
Cos I don’t want us to fall apart.





Written by Mev

8:30
Slams he’s front door shut
So you had a fucked up youth think you saw the truth
Anger growing on your face
Your dysfunctional family
Jus’ gets worse what the fuck next?
An all you did was walk away
Better luck next time.

12:00
Nine to five at a frantic pace
You’re just a number without a face
Two weeks freedom in a year
Sounds like a pretty shitty career
Why should we work for pittance?
Swallow your pride with the shame
People looking at ya’ strange
Try’na figure out your game
Dodgy dealin’s an how’s your father?

6:00
Tonight were gona’ be lookin’ for sum chicks
Its student night pound a pint
Your float says “20” hooray you got plenty
Ripped your new top gotta’ be jokin’
Ur voice is croaking too much smoking
Phone vibrates turns out its your mates
Say get yourself down to the local
Cos’ today were gettin’ insane again.

Half past 10 ooh no here we go
Knock one back for all your mates
By now your heartily wasted
Not thinkin’ clearly hung-over you’re sincerely
Pissin’ out blood, puking up bile think Ile give up boozing for a while
Blind from all the booze
Your memory is erased
Bar room casualties is the reality
Just another day
Work an’ play.

26/01/09