1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is say "you better be" , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewellery is for pussy's and Asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words fcuk you and grab the other girls arse. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop b*tching about the cold right now you're going to be b*tching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.

22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

23. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one tha

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.

See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom.

Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something,

ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it 'In'.

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks.

Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,

Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Sexual Favors' .

7. Finish All Your sentences with

'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible,

Skip

Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,

with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and

Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because
You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name,

Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,

'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity ..

Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.

Its Called ... therapy.

Who are you?.......
2. Are we friends?........
3. When and how did we meet?........
4. Do you hav a crush on me?.........
5. Have you ever wanted to punch me?........
6. Give me a nickname and explain why?........
7. Describe me in 1 word........
8. what was ur first impression of me?.......
9. do u still think the same?......
10. What reminds u of me?.....
11. If you could give me anything wot wld it b?......
12. How well do u no me?......
13. Whens the last time u saw me?.....
14. Would u kiss me?
15. whats the furthest you would go with me?
16. If u Had Me for 30 Mins wat would you do?
17. What do u like best about me?
18. Ever wanted 2 tell me sumthing u couldnt?......
19.cud you ever love me!