Things not to do on a plane and in an Airport

1. Bring in numerous bags which are full and drop them in random spots all over the airport. Whilst humming the Muslim call to prayer.

2. Question the person at the check in desk about menial things about the flight, e.g where is it going to? How big are the wings? What is the name of the Pilot? How much hair does he have on his head? Etc.

3. Refuse to fly unless John Travolta is flying. If John Travolta is flying keep singing Summer Loving and other songs from Greese ask him to sing along.

4. Saying to random passengers on the plane 'Me you and the toilet...2 minutes, be there'

5. Enter the toilet the moment the plane takes off and see how long you can stay there for, i.e see what country you end up in.

6. by a packet of peanuts and keep throwing them up the front of the plane. If asked to stop. Say you are conducting a scientific Experiment to prove Einstein's theory of relativity. And this is the only way.

7. Start doing press ups in the aisle.

8. In the airport start juggling. with other peoples things.

9. Steal other people's suitcases and see how far you get.

10. Keep asking to swap seats with the person beside you if they let you ask to swap again, over and over again.

11. On the plane, start doing the safety instructions that the air hostesses do except try and fit in as many dance moves as possible..try the worm

12. In the airport pretend you are blind and insist on bringing your guide dog with you.

13. Push past old people on their way to the plane.

14. One sentence...he's a terrorrist.

15. Try and get everyone to do the mexican wave...or YMCA.

16. Demand that a movie be played if there already is a movie demand that the air hostesses act it out.

17. Keep using the phone. When you are told to stop, refuse and say 'do you mind im on the phone'.

18. Flash your passport as you pass by strangers in the airport.

19 When you pass through the metal detector. Stand in the middle and yell beam me up to the mothership. refuse to move.

20. Make beeping sounds as other people walk through the metal detector.

21. Run through the airport. yelling 'you cant catch me im the gingerbread man'.

19 Ways to get out of P.E class

1. Pay a hit man to assassinate your P.E teacher and all sub teachers there after
2. Invent a time machine to travel back in time and kill the man that invented your education system
3. Become Minister for education, and have P.E abolished from the system
4. Amputate both your legs,( its for the better good) this will work unless you go to a private school, which can afford to adapt for children with special needs….snobby bastards.
5. Call the A team and have Mr.T beat the crap out of your P.E teacher
6. Blow up your school, this is why they have fire drills
7. Pretend to go to the toilet for the entire class. Let off a stink bomb and make a recording of farting noises and play them for the entire class, so no one would dare tell you to hurry up
8. You could just dos it, but then there’d be no satisfaction in knowing that you got out of P.E with style.
9. Jump in front of your P.E teachers car on his way to school
10. Walk into P.E with a bomb attached to you, start yelling for everyone to get down, and hold your entire class hostage for the duration of the P.E class.
11. Arrange a massive gang war to take place during your P.E class
12. Have a note written by your parents that you have changed your religion to one, which forbids any exercise.
13. Set off the fire alarm, .……that’s why its there…duh
14. Turn on all the highly flammable gasses in your science room and inform your P.E teacher that this is the new smoking room.
15. Embrace your P.E teacher in conversation about the French revolution for the entire class, it’s a well known fact all P.E teacher’s have a love for French history
16. Check does your P.E hall have planning permission then claim it doesn’t weather it has or not.
17. Assassinate the Queen of England, then assassinate the president of Ireland, so that we get a day of mourning so you don’t have to go to school for P.E, we don’t get a day of mourning for assassinating the Queen of England its just a good idea.
18. Inform your Principal that your P.E teacher threw a bottle of vodka at you, and was drunk during P.E class…..(Classic)
19. Flood your P.E hall, and drown your P.E teacher who ironically cant swim(when his legs are tied together and he’s weighed down with cement) god bless the maphia.

50 Fun Things To Do During An Exam
You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking. " Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

6. Bring cheerleaders.

7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy?"

8. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

10. Bring pets.

11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas. "If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

15. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..)

23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Forget this!" and walk out triumphantly.

25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i. e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink)

26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30