The Zante Dance Off 2007:

Howie vs Smithy...Victory goes to Smithy for the slowest how bigs your telly moves ever!

Zante Quotes:

Vermin - Fil you better find a spare bed cos Mikey is shaggin.
Fil - No chance...ive got the key haha.
Ells - He'll take her to the beach or summin.
Vermin - If he takes her to the beach within 3 seconds she'll have a harpoon in her ass..

Mikey - Di Canto...where's your brother?
Fil - Mikey im likely to kick the fuck out of you!

Ells - If he keeps scratching...he'll turn into woof the dog!

Lawman - Hendo..you're like your t-shirt....SHITE!

Howie - I can pull whenever i want if i bother trying.
Forrest & Rory - Aye?...go then haha!

Lawman - Fil if your in any bother you come and tell the law.

Howie - What score you get Matty?
Matty - 69.
Lawman - Aye..thats the only one you'll get!

Howie - Scotty if Mikey asls you to smell his fist...dont do it!

Lawman - Fil..you must of been born in a graveyard...your that unlucky!

Vermin - Get to the chopper....Get to the chopper..NOW!

Mikey - Di Canto...wheres your brother?
Fil - Mikey...your a clown!
Ells - Mikey...wheres your whale? haha.

Rory - I cant believe she had a hairy fanny!
Mikey - I know i wanted to kick her!
Fil - What right in the fanny?
Mikey - Aye kick her right in the fanny!

Fil - Haha thats the best way to describe Mikeys dancing..he just goes mental with his feet!

Rory - Shoulda asked her if she was on the film "The Green Mile".
Mikey - John Coffee.

Rory - Michael Wilson...shagged a fat bird in the council gritter!

Fil - Id shag half of those London birds...infact more than half.
Mikey - Half? Id shag them all...even the big fat one!
Fil - Fuck off...you seen the size of her leg?..its bigger than my fucking torso!

Mikey - I asked this bird on wednesday to stick a finger up my bum.
Rory - Di Canto...did you hear that?
Fil - What?
Mikey - I asked this bird on wednesday to stick a finger up my bum.
Fil - Hahaha...can i quote this?
Mikey - Aye...Funniest thing is...i was like "ohh cmon...just the one cmon"

Mikey - If you cant get going during sex..get her to lick your ear and whisper filth!

Rory - Whisper in a birds ear...do you want to play mummys and daddys?..ill be daddy!

Ells - Smithy...go back to your bed!
Smithy - I would but i cant sleep!
Lawman - Cant eat, cant sleep, not much of a drinker..fuck off you stripey fuck!

Suchy - Alright Lawman
Lawman - Alright Such...its nice to see you without that purple hat...you clown!

Ells - When was that photo?
Brunts - Aye that was when you had the johnny on your shoulder...you loser!!

Fil - That the ones you were in the room with?
Rory - Aye...I ate all theyre crisps and drunk all there water n left!

Johnny - Di Canto...get this in your quotes!.. I love vodka ribena...and i dont give an absolute toss...im a knob jockey...ride me like ruby walsh!

(Johnny refering to Ells and the english bird)
Johnny - Shes just said he has a small cock haha!

Johnny - Di Canto...dont go breaking my heart!
Fil - Johnny...i wont go breaking your heart!

(Ells refering to a bird in Cherry Bay)
Ells - Her chat is shite.
Fil - Her chat is as shit as a chocolate teapot!
Ells - Her char us worse than Howies!

(Fil trapped outside his room)
Fil - *knock knock* Mikey...let me in!!
Mikey - Di Canto is that you?
Fil - Aye let me in!
Mikey - Di Canto...whats wrong with you?
Fil - Nothing...just let me in!!
(Mikey lets Fil in the room)
Fil - Your worse than me when letting people in the room when your fucked! "Whats wrong?". I wanted in the fucking room..thats whats wrong!!
Mikey - Atleast i didnt get dressed to answer the door!
Fil -Alright...Im worse...haha...fucking disgrace!

Matty - I can see suchy take that bird down that alley!
Fil - What bird?
Matty - The blonde bird
Lawman - He couldnt take her up the alley nevermind down it...fucking loser!

Lawman - I hate following Johnny...its like following