"It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test."


There are only 5 questions, so don't get all excited and confused yet.

Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces between the question and answers below are there so you don't see the correct answers until you've made your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.







1. What do you put in a toaster?






Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," maybe you should give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.




2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?






Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," maybe you shouldn't even attempt to answer the next question. Your brain is apparently over-stressed and may even overheat.
Content yourself with reading more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.







3. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks, and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?






Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why are you still reading these???
If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.







4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall , Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany ). Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany , or no man's land"?






Answer: You don't bury survivors.







If you said ANYTHING else, you're in real bad shape and for your own sake you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.







5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales In London , 17 people get on the bus. In Reading , six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon , two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get o n. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?






Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!







Don't you remember your own name? Or have you forgotten it was YOU driving the BUS!!









PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!

Write me a memory of sumfing that has involed us together and will always be remebered!!

it can be nething lil or big!!

why r chavs like slinkies?

they have no real use but its great fun to watch one fall down a flight of stairs!

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what do you call a chavette in a white tracksuit?

the bride

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if you see a chav on a bike why dont you knock him down?

its probably your bike

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whats the difference between a chav nd a coconut?

ones thick nd hairy the others a coconut

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whats the first question at a chav quiz night?

wot you lukin at?

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two chavs ae in a car but theres no music playing. who's driving?

the police

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what do you say to a chav at work?

can i have a big mac please?

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what do you do if you run over a chav?

reverse just to make sure

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what do you call a chav in college?

the caretaker

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a chav walks into a job centre and says: 'i'd like a job, innit'
'well you've come to the right place. i thnk we have something.... ahh yes no qualifications needed, part time, £780 a week.'
the chavs stares at him and starts to smile he says 'your joking right?'
'hey you started it!'

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