Okay I have not written any blog or make any Youtube video for a while. But tonight, right now there are just so many things in my mind. My heart is so stirred up in a way that I cannot contain myself but to share some stuff with people that I know.

I am a born again Christian and I do love God deep in my heart. But in recent days I do feel like I am distant away from God and I feel like I am not pleasing God the way I should.

I had a difficult summer holiday with flu and exam retake. It was uneventful and I feel like I was running on autopilot everyday just doing things over and over again, nothing's changed and nothing new... just as when I got back to Exeter University started my third year, the stress of work and other little things got hold of me and I feel like I need to do so much just to keep myself in order...

But in a way, I am really pleased I am back in Exeter. I am here again and I know I need to get back with God the way it should be. After talking to a friend at his home tonight I am so blessed also have a good shrinking feeling on me.

I have this friend, He missed out a year at university due to a serious illness. The problem he had wasn't easy on him and his family. I remember the first time I heard what happened I was so nervous for him. I was worried and shocked. I couldn't believe it was happening to someone I know. I didn't know what I was suppose to do to help but just to pray for him. There weren't really anything practical I can do apart from let him know that I love him as a brother in Christ and I will think of him. Even though we only knew each other for a year before it happened but our friendship was quite solid.

He told me earlier what he has being through in and out of the hospital all year, receiving all sort of treatments. The pain and the sorrow that he had was unimaginable, it was a serious situation. His body became very weak and he couldn't do the normal daily tasks like us. He also had to make a lot of major decisions based on his condition. But what really encouraged me is how positive he took this whole situation. His faith in God is totally awesome. He always trusted in God. He believe that God is always there and he will take care of him. My friend never blamed anything to God or complained anything. He just accept it and went with it. Not just that he was a great witness to God. The doctors and nurses in the hospital all know that he has faith in Jesus. He always that cheerful and being the person he always has being. He didn't change any of his personality because he was having this serious illness. He told me about the miracle he had in hospital when he was going through some really serious treatments. God took care of him and give him that peace and love he so needed. He still has to go back to hospital now and then but I am so sure now that God is bigger than whatever life can throw at him and he himself is strong enough to face it.

He inspires and encourages everyone who knows him. He is not just talk about God / Jesus, He does it. He is telling people about God through his action. His whole lifestyle is about Jesus and for Jesus. I am so lucky to get to know him.

I remember Louie Giglio did a preaching called 'How Great Is Our God' at Passion Conference. He talked about how awesome and powerful God is. He also preached about God's grace. Near the end of his talk, he told us about one protein molecule called 'Laminin'.

Laminin is a protein molecule in your body. Its job is to hold your body together, your organ your skin held together by this protein molecule. The amazing thing about this molecule isn't just of its important role it plays in our body. Also its chemical structure is even more amazing - its structure is in a perfect shape of our lord Jesus Christ.

Louie then showed us what he found on google the image of Laminin chemical structure. He then talked from the book Colossians chapter 1 verse 15 to 20 in the bible. It says:

'He is the image

Passion Conferences is a Christian organization, also referred to as the 268 Generation. It started in 1997 and was founded by Louie Giglio, who is a great church pastor and an amazing Christian evangelist. He is a great speaker, his sermons are pretty cool beans. Passion Conference is a nationwide Christian university students gathering in US.

Passion Conference is doing a world tour this year from Kiev in Ukraine on the 16th of May till 21st of October 2008 end in Sydney in Australia. They went through Stockholm, Sao Paulo, Kampala, and Paris. Yesterday was London's turn for Passion World Tour 08.

Over 2000 young university Chrisitans from UCCF, and other organisations also churches around London were inside Hammersmith Apollo, London.

Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman and David Crowder Band lead the worship through out the night. Louie Giglio did an amazing sermon speaking on obedience and make Jesus famous in our lives.

I have to say last night was one of the best moment for me for a very long time. I simply cannot remember when was last time I was so stirred up inside of me. It was not what I expected just like a cool night of worship and hang out with God and other Christians I don't know.

It was more to it. It was beyond what I was hopeful to be that night. I was not most impacted by the amazing worship lead by those famous Christian song writers. But by a very cool dude - Louie Giglio. His preaching hit me really hard. When I was sing those songs of worship, tears started to running down my face, I was so moved by the holy spirit. I knew God is so awesome and I just wanted his warm embrace like I was running towards him. It was like I was just sticking close to Jesus. He was there and I was in his arms.

Then Louie started to preach, I got more into it. He started by telling us about Passion Conferences which is been routed into one verse from the bible: Isaiah 26 verse 8 says, Yes Lord, walking in the way of Your truth we wait eagerly for You, for Your name and renown are the desire of our souls.

Louie said two words at the beginning of this verse: 'Yes, Lord'. It is that simple yet very challenging. I know I have to started to learn to say it more everyday. Yes, Lord I don't know where you are leading me or what you want me to do but if you are going there and I am going to follow, there is no but or if or maybe... simply two words: Yes, Lord.

We have to be desperate for Jesus, desperate for us to change more into His likeness. Louie told us the word 'renown' - to bring God fame, to glorify Jesus. To make Jesus famous in our life. Even our life is short and it is just a 'bleep' still we have to choose not live in our own ways, not to live whatever we want it to be but live for Jesus. Live for something is more important than anything else in our lives. I want to make Jesus famous. I want my friends see Jesus is living in me by what I say, what I do, what I think everyday in my life even thought my life is just a 'bleep'.

Louie finished by telling us a true story about a girl in America, she was a university student, her life was messed up. Her dad and mum got divorced. He dad was an atheist, her mum and brother are Christians. She didn't like her mum to tell her off and going to church with her mother. Her boyfriend cheated on her twice so she kicked her boyfriend out of her house. She had this new house mate. She called her housemate a 'fruitcake' because she is a Christian and she loves God very much. From 4 weeks spending time with her new housemate 'fruitcake'. She saw something different in this 'fruitecake'. She understood God's grace, she understood that Jesus even loves screw-ups. She gave her life to Jesus. This was recorded in her blog (diary). But three weeks after she turned into a Christian herself. She was involved in a traffic accident. Despite her friends being there praying for her in hospital for over 12 hours, she went to be with Jesus. This story has impacted me more than you c

Date: Thursday 5th of June 2008
Time now is 02:07am (two hours after midnight)

I have my final BMC exam this morning at 9:30am (7 and half hours to go from now).

I have being revising so hard today, it is unbelievable. I have being sitting in my room for over 18 hours so far apart from my lunch break which went out to the corner shop bought a sandwich. I wrote over 50 pages of A4 size of revision notes since Tuesday evening after my last exam.

I am now having a much needed break. It is because my brain is so full and simply refuse to take it anymore. My fingers are hurting really bad because I have been constantly writing... my face - well just looks really ugly and grumpy. One word to describe my feeling right now - desperate!

I hope I can actually remember what I revised today when I am sitting in my exam. I would actually cry if I do shockingly bad. I guess judgment is coming soon. I never really felt like I have done enough for me to escape a fail.

If anything goes horribly wrong later this morning, I would actually pray for Jesus second coming to end it all (this is what I always pray when I am very desperate). As you can see it never worked before but you will know it by tomorrow I guess if Jesus is coming back soon or not.

Anyway my fingers are not hurting that much now but my eyes are going to shut themselves soon. I probably will wake up tomorrow morning by my alarm not in bed but sitting on my chair. I am going back to revise now and there is still two more lectures worth of notes need to go through!

Fun Fun Fun!

P.s if anyone is actually bothered to read all these random moan I am having now, please, please, please pray for me. Pray that I will wake up on time before exam tomorrow. Also pray that I have knowledge and peace in me to help me go through tomorrow.

You have no idea how happy I will be like this time tomorrow!

Chang Chang (in a not very good mood)

God bless!