Elaine Hogg
-
Kobieta, 21,
133
- z Aberdeen/Edinburgh
- Związek: W związku
- Wyświetlenia: 4 934
- Jest z nami od: January 2007
- Ostatnio online: 1 tydzień temu
- bebo.gazeta.pl/Lainey_Love
- Zdjęcia z Elaine Hogg (1)
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You know you are a proper nurse if............
You would like to meet the inventor of the buzzer some night in a dark alley.
Your sense of humour gets more warped each year.
Almost everything can seem humorous......eventually.
You know the smell of different diarrhoea to identify it.
You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication they are dispensing than they know.
You check the caller id on your day off to see if anyone from the hospital is trying to call and ask you to work.
You've been telling stories in a restaurant and made someone at another table throw up.
You notice that you are using more 4 letter words than you did before you started nursing.
Every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you.
You live by the motto "to be right is only half the battle, to convince the doctor is more difficult".
You've told a confused patient that your name was that of your co-worker and to call if they need help.
Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's water tank.
You find yourself checking out other customers veins in the grocery waiting lines.
You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers for fear they will drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
Your finger has gone places you ever thought possible.
You have seen more penises than any prostitute.
0 komentarzy 732 dni
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CONDOMS
Imagine if all major retailers started making their own condoms and kept the same tag-line...
Scottish Gas - Doing the right thing
Sainsbury Condoms - Making life taste better
Tesco Condoms - Every little helps
Nike Condoms - Just do it
Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life
Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk
KFC Condoms - Finger licking good
Minstrels Condoms - Melt in your mouth, not in your hands
Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load
Abbey National Condoms - Because life is complicated enough
Coca Cola Condoms - The real thing
Ever Ready Condoms - Keep going and going
Pringles Condoms - Once you pop, you cant stop
Burger King Condoms - Home of the whopper
Goodyear Condoms - For a longer ride go wide
Muller-Light Condoms - So much pleasure, but where's the pain
Halfords Condoms - We go the extra mile
Royal Mail Condoms - I saw this and thought of you
Andrex Condoms - Soft, strong and very very long
Renault Condoms - size really does matter!
Ronseal Condoms - Does exactly what it says on the tin
Ronseal Quick-Drying Condoms - It's dry and waterproof in 30 minutes
Domestos Condoms - Gets right under the rim! (HELL YEAAAAH!)
Heineken Condoms - Reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach
Carlsberg Condoms - Probably the best condom in the world
AA Condoms - For the 4th emergency service
Pepperami Condoms - it's a bit of an animal
Polo Condoms - The condom with the hole (this isnt a good seller)
0 komentarzy 946 dni
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why would anyone want 2 stop being a student and grow up???
1. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to sleep
2. Having sex in a single bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. Your fantasies of having sex with three women with lesbian tendencies are replaced by fantasies of having sex with anyone at all.
5. You don't volunteer for clinical trials at the local hospital.
6. You know all of the people sleeping in your house.
7. You hear your favourite song in the lift at work.
8. Informative TV does not include Richard and Judy.
9. The bank manager doesn't write threatening letters any more.
10. You carry an umbrella.
11. Seven-day benders are no longer realistic.
12. You don't go to Tesco with all your friends.
13. You have standing orders and direct debits.
14. The heating works in your house.
15. Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together andbreak-up.
16. You pay the government thousands of pounds every year.
17. You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.
18. Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.
19. You're the one calling the police because those damn kidsnext door won't turn down the stereo.
20. You get out of bed in the morning even if it's raining.
21. Washing up is not an annual ritual.
22. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
23. You don't know what time the kebab shop closes anymore.
24. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
25. You feed your dog Pal instead of McDonalds.
26. You don't get ideas for drinks from local tramps.
27. You don't put half-finished curries in the fridge to eat later.
28. You don't spend half your day strategically planning pubcrawls.
29. You "hate scrounging students".
30. You no longer have a strange attraction to road signs when drunk.
31. Sleeping in the lounge is a no-no.
32. You can't persuade your flatmates to 'Drink till dawn'.
33. You don't spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub.
34. You always know where you are when you wake up.
35. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
36. A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.
37. You go to the chemist for Panadol and antacids, not condoms andpregnancy test kits.
38. A bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.
39. You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.
40. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
41. You don't have mice living in your kitchen.
42. Grocery lists are longer than pot noodles & cans of lager.
43. You don't go to Liquor Save to buy Vodka.
44. You have vacuumed.
45. Breaking the law means doing 40 in a 30 zone.
46. 'I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never going to drink that much again'.
47. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
48. You don't experiment with banned substances.
49. You don't get drunk at home, to save money, before going to a pub.
50. Lunchtime is not 'the morning'
0 komentarzy 1034 dni
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heya.. hows it cracking?? sorry aint got no credit so uts back to this world:s.lol.
Im arite, not been up to too much exciting shenanigans really...
Just looking for work and all that sort of stuff
Wat u doing? hows the nursing coming along? xx
Ill let u of then:p Im not bad.. Jst bn getin meself together. Oh i was quite guted i mised it but was away im the dk insted
so cant complain! Wat u bn up to? xxx
alrighty stranger.
hows u doin? u stil at uni these days? i left in mrach lol, just wasnt enjoying it no more, that dam carol jackson wasnt much help either hahahaha
wat u been up too?
xx
Lainey baby.. Hows it hapenin? Long time! Wer in the world r u these days? xx
how u doin trouble long time no see. wot u doin with yourself
Hiii Lany!!
It's me! I have attached a picture of Eve driving her car as I thought you would like it.
Well that's quite enough excitement for you for one day.
x
OI! am back in the burgh! wher r u? wer r the fucking ballooons!!!!!! i want ballooooooooooooooooooooooooooons!
!!!!!!
helooo
?
but shes away out already 
no gossip 
i know im very well thanks love and you
yupp, we got her back today
haha, no
they say hiii
writeback
x
i no its terrible. well im in elgin for my nxt placement i start on monday so i wont be in aberdeen for a whily. but if im in aberdeen at a wkd ill give u a txt. i hink i deleted my mistake wen i was deteling my msgs. so u shud send me it in private mail. ats gd how ur going bk t uni. where u been working? am actually in aberdeen tmz. miss ur banter too.
have sum love xx
alright wee yin, i'm doing alright ta just had a well busy day attending job assessment centres - scary stuff like!
as for the scott guy, i really have no idea, i still can't think who it is lol...
as for louise, i ain't seen hollyoaks since xmas, i've bn a busy boy doing uni work, working and partying!!!!
good to hear from ya though! i'll be in abz on the 21st o march or whenever it is for grandads b'day so that should be fine!
u bn gettin up to much?
your big awesome cuz x
Hiya
I saw the 2 of you and was waving over. It was ok, bit boring but good result.
Hopefully see you at grandads meal, dont know when it is yet if its the sat or sun?
xxx
Hey hot stuff sorry not been in contact dnt use bebo really anymore! how u doin? whats been goin on my beautiful friend? hows the love life the uni life the home life??? huh huh huh? am back soooooo soon will be in edinburgh by bout sat or sun next week!!! how exciting! any a=chance of me seeing you there? any way's i love you soooooooooo much and canny wait to have a good ol chat bout stuff xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxx
Cant believe am goin 2 ur home city an ur not even gonna b ther, tut tut, poor show!!!!
.xxx
our little lady is on line... hw do you do? loves ya! everybody sed they seen ya recently hope you all had fun and didnt cry too mmuch in regards to us absenties!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hiya yeh i no we will really have to organise an nite owt. wen u bk at uni chick? wb xx
hey was santa good to ya? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey hey hey
im great ta. how r u? yep homes still good! edinburgh was amazing such a good night! u back yet?
missing you lots
much luv
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
So Your not coming on new year
Get intouch x
hey cheeeeztits...... glad it got too you in time!!! apparently liquid rooms has burnt down...... can you believe! i loved that venue! where the hell is luvely gonna be held!? so i take it you stayin in aberdeen for christmas? whats new any chat? well excited for chritsmas!!!! loadsa prezzzzies! mwah mwah xxxxxxxx
Its good thanks!!!!!
hows th Deen??? How was lastnite???xxx