1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to publicly humiliate yourself.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
7. I'm out of my mind at the moment, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here - I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I don't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhh. I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision - I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn
22. Yes, I am an agent of satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby whiny assed opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a fucking people person to you?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. Oh, I get it. Like humour. Only different.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without the door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume, but must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is finally done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to kill.
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary
39. I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
40. Wait a minute - I'm just trying to imagine you with a personality

“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in
the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends, and spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other balls - family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass.

If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked,
nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.

How?

* Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.
* Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.
* Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
* Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
* Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
* Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us together.
* Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
* Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
* Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.
* Don’t forget that a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
* Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
* Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
* Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured each step of the way.

Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery and Today is a gift;
that’s why we call it ‘The Present’.”

IF YOUR LIFE WERE A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, Zune, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing and then skip to the next song.

My Life: Doublewide- Corrosion Of Conformity

Opening Credits: Block- Machine Head

Waking Up: Fallen Down- Government Mule

First day at school: Sink Beneath the line- Incubus

Falling in love: Blunt Force Trauma- Damageplan

Breaking up: Black Mass Reverends- Black Label Society

Fight Song: Blood For Blood- Machine Head

Meltdown: Crazy Of High- Black Label Society

Flashback: Slaughtered- Pantera

Driving: Crucify Your Beliefs- God Forbid

Wedding: Speak Free- Incubus

Birth of a child: Medium- Incubus

Life: Soul Bleed- Damageplan

Final Battle: The End Of Heartache- Killswitch Engage

Death Scene: Changed Man- 2Pac

Funeral Song: Take What You Want- Corrosion Of Conformity