1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? Or even Tenty one?

12. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so posties can look for them while they deliver the mail?

17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

18. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

19. Ever wonder about those people who spend £2 on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAÏVE

20. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

View All
My Fine is £520.50
This is fun to do. Just read the 'offence' and if you've done it, you owe
that fine. Keep going until you've read each 'offence' and added up your total fine. When you are done post this as: "My fine is £..."
You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.

Smoked weed- £10

Ever had sex at church- £25

Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you- £40

Had sex with someone on MySpace or ne cyber sex- £25

Had sex for money- £100

Vandalized something- £20

Had sex on your parents' bed- £10

Beat up someone- £20

Been jumped- £10

Cross dressed- £10

Given money to stripper -- £25

Kissed someone who's name you didn't know- £10

had sex at work-£20

Ever drive and drank- £20

Ever got drunk at work, or went to work/skool while still drunk- £50

Used toys while having sex- £30

Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before- £20

Went skinny dipping- £5

Had sex in a pool- £20

Kissed someone of the same sex- £10

Had sex with someone of the same sex -- £20

Cheated on your partner- £10

Masturbated- £10

Cheated on your partner with their best friend- £20

Done oral- £5

Got oral- £5

Done / got oral in a car while it was moving- £25

Stole something- £10

Made a sex home video- £15

Had a threesome- £50

Had sex outside - £20

Been in the same room while someone was having sex-£25

Stole something worth over more than a hundred pounds- £20

Had sex with someone younger- £20

Had sex with someone older than you- £25

had an orgy- £90

Said you love someone but didn't mean it- £25

Went streaking- £5

Went streaking in broad daylight- £15

Been arrested- £5

Spent time in jail- £15

Peed in the sea- £0.50

Played spin the bottle- £5

Done something you regret- £20

Had sex with your best friend- £20

Had sex with someone you work with at work- £25

Had anal sex- £80

Lied to your mate- £5

Lied to your mate about the sex being good- £25

Accdornig to a rseearcher at an Enlgsih Uinervtisy, it deosn"t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh ?