right now my mind is clueless...finking of the one i want to be with...but yet i dont wot to do...where abouts is her name printed on my heart...makes me fink that my name is a removable sticker...when is she going to peal it off and rip it apart...or is it she already done it...she will never understand my status, my life, my love and my situation...the reason why is that she never cares...i was asked one time why do u love her? wot does she do that make u lover her to much...i could answer the question...maybe becus i was drunk...but i remembered everything about that nite...i starred at practically nuffing and then sumone sed hai...wot u finking of...i pointed and sed her...but reali i pointed at naffin...i thought i saw her there...but its jus my mind playing tricks on me...i realli miss her atm i realli do...even if i tell her how i feel wot im finkin she would even listen...but i still say it coz it is no lie...

not very many people understand u, they either agree with u disagree but realli they had no clue...one;s way of understanding cannot be under standed by others...

From the excitement of the semi formal a fwend asked me hu im going with and she hinted that she doesn’t noe hu to take…taking her as fwends I asked her to come with me as my date…she rang me that nite and we started tlking ever since…day after day she started to develop feelings for me I was quite amazed…I dated her for a week one time b4 she dumped me for no reason…I thought I mite give her a 2nd chance…as the days go past I felt my heart was growing to fit her name in…so @ a fwends bday party we had a cht alone…I asked her if she likes me, she sed yes, I asked her if she loves me a lot? She sed yes…so I gave her a kiss, I was happy because I fink that the onli time where I realii like sumone possible even love is at that moment…I asked her out the next day and she sed yes! I jumped to the roof…but sadly a week later she told me she wanted to be single for @ least a yr. dejavu I say, its happenin all over again. So ever since then we saw each other but we’re not dating…I felt realli uncomfortable but its somefing I hav to do to be with her…but time after time I ask her hu she likes and she told me her ex…I new I wasn’t me…at time she says noone…does this mean she wants me to move on? but after those question we continue to go watch movies and all, at new yrs eve 2006-07 I waited for her to come under the bridge with my fwends, jus to give her a welcoming hug for 07 but she was ashamed infront of my fwends and rejected me…that hurts me inside…day after day I wait for her calls and worri if she tlkin to sumone else…this is the chasing game I guess, or cat and mouse I should say. I was the mouse until she made me a cat…meaning im chasing for her love… y does she call me everynite and say that im jus a fwend? Y does she tlk about the other guys when shes tlkin to me? Y weneva she tlks to me she sounds like she got sumfing to hide? I remember one time where I told her y? y loving girl is causing me so much pain? And she replied ‘then don’t love me then’…bac then I sed ‘I will live with the pain to be with u’…but im tell u guys now… im not goin to live with it nomore, its hurting me everyday, I start bad habits coz of her, stopped for her, but now the bad habbits are scared my life… im not a quiter…(if u guys are my fwends then u will noe wot im saying) so do wat eva u want I fink we’re better off as fwends…love + pain + assumptions + other ppl = separation…and my advise to u don’t give in to sumone u don’t like or love…that’s a scab that will neva heal.

today is a bad day! i didnt get ne honest ans...life is a fag dont u guys recckon?