Johnny's in the basement
Mixing up the medicine
I'm on the pavement
Thinking about the government
The man in the trench coat
Badge out, laid off
Says he's got a bad cough
Wants to get it paid off
Look out kid
It's somethin' you did
God knows when
But you're doin' it again
You better duck down the alley way
Lookin' for a new friend
The man in the coon-skin cap
In the big pen
Wants eleven dollar bills
You only got ten

Maggie comes fleet foot
Face full of black soot
Talkin' that the heat put
Plants in the bed but
The phone's tapped anyway
Maggie says that many say
They must bust in early May
Orders from the D. A.
Look out kid
Don't matter what you did
Walk on your tip toes
Don't try "No Doz"
Better stay away from those
That carry around a fire hose
Keep a clean nose
Watch the plain clothes
You don't need a weather man
To know which way the wind blows

Get sick, get well
Hang around a ink well
Ring bell, hard to tell
If anything is goin' to sell
Try hard, get barred
Get back, write braille
Get jailed, jump bail
Join the army, if you fail
Look out kid
You're gonna get hit
But users, cheaters
Six-time losers
Hang around the theaters
Girl by the whirlpool
Lookin' for a new fool
Don't follow leaders
Watch the parkin' meters

Ah get born, keep warm
Short pants, romance, learn to dance
Get dressed, get blessed
Try to be a success
Please her, please him, buy gifts
Don't steal, don't lift
Twenty years of schoolin'
And they put you on the day shift
Look out kid
They keep it all hid
Better jump down a manhole
Light yourself a candle
Don't wear sandals
Try to avoid the scandals
Don't wanna be a bum
You better chew gum
The pump don't work
'Cause the vandals took the handles

Wait a minute man
Hey check this out man (tell it)
There was this blind man right, (this fool right here)(man check it, hey)
There was this blind man right
He was feelin' his way down the street with a stick right (yeah), hey
He walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin' (fish market?)
He stopped he took a deep breath he said
"Snfffffff, woooo good morning ladies"
You like that shit man (that was pretty good)
Hey man I got a gang of that shit man
I tell you what my man on the guitar,
Hey fool on the drums.
everyonejust crowd around the mic I'll tell you all these motha fuckin' jokes but first imma start off like that, hey help me sing it homeboy (C'mon!)

Say colt 45 and 2 zig-zags baby thats all we need we can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed, as the marijana burn we can take our turn singing them dirty rap songs, stop to hit the bong like Cheech and Chong and sell tapes from here to hongkong. Roll roll roll my joints pick out the seeds and stems
feelin high as hell flyin' through Palmdale
skatin' on Dayton rims
so roll, roll, the '83 Cadilac Coupe Deville
if my tapes and my cds just don't sell i bet my caddy will.


well it was just sundown in small white town




they call it East Side Palmdale (well)
when the Afroman walked through the white land
houses went up for sale (hell)
well I was standing on the corner sellin' rap cds
when i met a little girl name jan
i let her ride in my caddy cause i didnt know her daddy was the leader of the Ku Klux Klan<laughing>
we fucked on the Bed
fucked on the floor
fucked so long i grew a fuckin afro
we fucked to the left
fucked to the right
she sucked my dick 'til the shit turned white
I thought to myself sheeba-sheeba
got my ass lookin' like a zebra
I put on my clothes and I was on my way
until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet
and so I ran, I jumped out the back window
but her daddy he was waitin' with a two-by-four
he beat me to the left
he beat me to the right
the mother fucker wooped my ass all night
Oh, but i aint mad at a prejudice dad
thats the best damn pussy I ever had
I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine
I'm gonna fuck that bitch just one more time

[CHORUS]
colt 45 and two zig-zags baby thats all we need (c'mon)
we can go to the Park, after dark
smoke that tumbleweed (uh)
as the marijana burn we can take our turn singin them dirty rap songs
stop to hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
and sell tapes from here to hong kong
so roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Feeling high as hell flyin' through Palmdale
skatin on dayton rims
so roll, roll, the '83 Cadilac Coupe Deville
if my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my Caddy will


I met this lady in Hollywood (hollywood)
she had green hair but damn she looked good (yeah)
I took her to my house 'cause she was fine
but she whupped out a dick that was bigger than mine (ah haaa)

I met this lady from Japan (whoo)
never made love with an African
I fucked her once (once)
I fucked her twice (twice)
I ate that pussy like shrimp-fried rice
dont be amazed with the stories i tell ya (tell ya)

i met a woman in the heart of australia
had a big butt and big titties too
so i hopped in her ass like a kangoroo

see i met this woman from hawaii
stuck it in her ass and she said aaiiiii
lips where breakfest
pussy was lunch
then her titties busted open with hawian punch

met colonel sanders wife in the state of kentucky
she said ill fry some chicken if you just fuck me
i came in her mouth it was a crisis
i gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices

[CHORUS]
colt forty-five and two zig-zags baby thats all we need (c'mon)
we can go to the Park, after dark
smoke that tumbleweed (uh)
as the marijana burn we can take our turn singin them dirty rap songs
stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
and sell tapes from here to hong kong

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee (Tennessee)
Her tit

1.I can stay on the fairway
2.I know how to use my balls
3.My shaft is long and flexible
4.My balls are big and hard
5.The end of my shaft is big and bold
6.When i shoot i dont miss
7.I stay out of the bush
8.when you hit my balls they dont crack
9.I dont like other guys balls
10.I get it in the hole