63 Annoying Questions Survey

Come on, Ted. Sure it's no more peculiar than all that stuff we learned in the seminary, you know, Heaven and Hell and everlasting life and all that type of thing. You're not meant to take it seriously, Ted!

I love my brick

There's a small island here just off the coast of Surinam, and there's a local tribe there who have been beating the absolute shite out of each other since 1907- you, Crilly, are the man to bring them together. By the way, do you know how to make arrows?' 'Don't worry, it'll come to you'

Don't call me Len, you little prick. I'm a bishop!

Don't call me Len, you little prick. I'm a bishop!

Father! I've killed a man!

HAIRY JAPANESE BASTARDS!!!!

Ted!! Ya forgot your brick

It's da largest lingerie department in Ireland

Well this is a piece of advice my father gave to me. This refers not only to lagging, but all forms of insulation: he said 'dont ever'...no, wait, it was 'always'...no, 'never' - oh, I forgot. Never mind. Whats your favourite humming noise? Would it be mmm-mmmmm or would it be mmmm-mm? The first one there, now thats the sound of a fridge; and the second one, thats the sound of a man humming. You never hear a woman humming. I knew a woman once, but she died soon afterwards. Now if you push me to it, I'd have to say my favourite colour is grey. No, blue. A soft blue with a hint of grey. No, orange. Yes, orange. I remember now. Now, I had an extension put on the house, and I put it on the extension, so the house is in a circle now, you see... We run the electricity off the gas and the gas off the electricity and save £10 a week

John O'Leary: What can we do for you Father? Dougal : I was looking for a pair of handcuffs actually. John : A pair of handcuffs? What do you need them for? Dougal : Oh nothing much, they're for me and Ted. Mary : You and Father Ted? Dougal : Yeah, we're just trying something out.