As you hugged me I never wanted to let go
When you told me you loved me I was so happy
You were the only one I really cared for
I spent some days just hoping you would see
I told you I loved you
And you always said it back too
But it was different when we weren't alone
I still can't help but wonder if it was ever fucking true

I tense up as you turn and walk off like nothing has happened.
Like you didn’t just break me, stab me, hurt me, kill me.

Like you don’t know that I’m crying, drowning, dying.

Pretend like you’re not still so perfect.
Like your smile doesn’t shine brighter than every single star.
Like you’re not my star.
Pretend that your arm around her doesn’t at all remind me of how warm it felt around me.

Like I don’t care, don’t dream, don’t wish, don’t need.

I turn slowly now, walk off, step by step, imagining that it’s just as easy for me to leave it all behind as it was for you.
Except I can’t see straight anymore.
Except the air is so stale.
Except my whole body is shaking.
Except I’m hurting, and you don’t care.

Erasing every single night as if they weren’t my everything.
You weren’t my everything.
Forgetting how soft your lips are.
How strong your embrace is.
How your voice softens every hurt and your laugh strengthens every hope.
Forgetting every dance, kiss, touch.
Forgetting every breathe.

I stop, and turn back. And collapse.
Isn’t it funny how promises die?
How tears fall?
How dreams cripple?
How you can destroy me
And I still want you back?
(I can’t breathe)
My chest tightens. My jaw clenches.
And I’m crying so hard that I can’t see or think.
But I can’t think.
Can’t think about you. Can’t think at all.
And it’s all flashing by, until it hits a wall, and shatters.

Stand up.
Walk off.
Forget, but I can’t.
Stop crying, but I won’t.
Move on, but I’d die.
Stay here, but I’m already dead.

I give in.
You Win!!!

its finally the day, when it all over, i couldnt wait, but now i realize how much i miss it...

5 years of friendship waisted..if not even more

We were so close..
Now we've drifted apart..
There is no more room..
For me in your heart..

New friends have come along..
You act like I don't exhist..
Until you need me for something..
But I'm here to tell you this..

I could care less what you are doing
Don't give a crap about where you are..
I hope you know I loved you..
For who you really are..

I'll miss you, but I can't go on..
Living behind everyone else..
There is no one here left to blame..
You have done this to yourself..

This is your life..
I am no longer here..
Cause the choice you have made..
My life can finally be my own..
As your memory begins to fade...

You took me for granted..
And for that I am truly sad..
But soon you will realize..
I was the best friend you ever had..

When you needed someone to listen..
I lended you my ears..
All this time I was treated like dirt..
I have waisted all these tears..

It will be hard to forget a friendship.
That was so real and true..
But it's not hard to forget a person..
I never even knew...

If you went to Darwin High or Casuarina, you were most likely to have been a smarty-pants and probably smoked in the far away ovals. You know the one…

• If Nightcliff, then you just smoked.

• If St Johns, then your parents just paid too much money for you to smoke.

• If O’Loughlin then your parents were probably religious types and wanted to make sure that you never smoked anything!

• If Marrara, no one really knew what you guys were up to but your parents were probably the desperate types. Desperate for YOU not to get kicked out of yet another school!

• If Palmerston, then your teachers smoked with you!

• Sanderson had the ‘gangsta girls’ with wutang shirts, slicked back hair and the tiniest fringe

• Kormilda had the International Baccalaureate and you didn’t know what that meant (except if you went to Kormilda) and how different it was from the NTCE.

• Walking around and seeing aboriginal people being like everyone else is normal.

• When you realise that this was not usual in other cities in Australia, you get upset and confused.

• Cyclone warnings during Christmas are normal and you don’t get scared.

• You clean up heavy metal looking things that might fly and chop your head off before a cyclone.

• You are supposed to have emergency food and clothes for cyclones kept somewhere – but you don’t.

• And if you did decide to get some emergency food, it was usually too late as only a single tin can remained at Woolies, after it had been raided by panic strickened locals

• You don’t flinch when you see water running wastefully on the driveway whilst someone washed their car. There is no such thing as a drought in Darwin.

• You know that fish and chips at the wharf or Cullen Bay Marina are awesome.

• And gelato from The Cool Spot was awesome too

• When watching the sunset is a beautiful thing to do and people scramble to get a good position on the beach.

• July 1st = Firecrackers!

• You have experienced a warm, tropical, torrential shower, where you have gotten absolutely soaked, laughed really hard whilst being a little bit upset at the same time. And you amazingly didn’t catch a cold.

• You know what ‘Gone Troppo’ means and what causes it.

• Two seasons, not four. Wet and dry.

• Air conditioning at Casuarina is bliss.

• High 20 degrees weather is cold.

• Pauls Iced coffee not Farmers Union.

• All you can eat buffet at the Casino and the free coffees/teas.

• Teddy Bear picnics are weird but you probably went to one and only one that you would admit to.

• Royal Darwin Show is out in the sticks and was always too expensive.

• Small crocodiles going through a net in Fannie Bay, growing to big crocodiles and then making the news.

• People making out at East Point, Nightcliff and Casuarina Beach.

• You don’t need a clothes dryer when your clothes dry within an hour of putting them up on the line.

• You say gammon, bruz, budju and oi malacca!

• You know what ‘a bit too nuff jah’ means

• The Jape family owns pretty much all of Darwin.

• The Greek families all the construction.

• The Ahmats/Motlops/Riolis rule the footy field.

• You followed AFL, not NRL or Union.

• You’ve gone to the Natural Maritime Museum and seen “Sweetheart”, the giant, mammoth, crocodile.

• You’ve gone to the Territory Wildlife Park and seen the giant stingray fly above you in the underwater tunnel

• You’ve had mango and banana smoothies.

• You’ve picked a hermit crab, put it in your hands and wait to see it walk on them.

• You’ve also tried to see if the crabs can come out of their shells.

• Putting sand onto the breathing holes of hermit crabs using your feet when they bubble up as the waves go back to sea.

• And being disappointed when they bubbled up again. Smart critters…

• Cricket on th