Say one day you couldn't find your knife, so u wer chopping vegetables with a machete...and the fone rang....and the machete fell into your pocket but u dont notice.....then ur runnin for a bus and it falls out into somebodys arm, u kno, like a couple of times... would you get away with it?

okay so im walkin down union street with a couple mates when all of a sudden a seagull flys down the road at like 80 miles an hour with a somerfield bag attached to its leg....and this bags swelled up behind it like a parachute hahaha ..the seagulls using all the energy in its body lol and it has no idea why the hell it has to struggle so hard to keep itself off the ground lol you should have seen its face! "oh no, i am ey going down!" stupid seagull.. it looked like a drag racing car after the parachute had been deployed.. ive never laughed so hard in my life! apart from this other time.....it was like 3rd year at school and it was lunch time and me and my mate mike stables had plotted out the perfect seagull hunting plan (after discovering bicarbonate soda sandwiches didnt actually make seagulls explode..all it did was make one seagull cough, out of like 50 seagulls!)....we would throw bits of our sannys on the ground and when the seagulls landed to eat them we would launch rocks at them.....so i threw a bit of my sanny on the grass and this seagull landed and started eating it....next thing i know, mike absolutely hurls this rock at the seagull and to our surprise, hit it! this was some hit though, all you heard was this really deep thump and a brief squawk...followed by a tremendous backflip...hahahahah....you should have seen mikes face it was absolutely priceless lol i can still see it and im cracking up as i write! the guilt hit him like a tsunami lol there was blood allover the seagull! at this point im already rolling around the grass building a beast of a sixpack through laughter..i couldnt breathe and tears wer streaming down my face! it was the payback i was unpatiently waiting for, driven by a seagull shitting on me when i was in primary one and all the kids laughed at me....NOW WHOS LAUGHING LOL ...i HATE seagulls....with a passion! a sick and twisted passion... stupid stinky faced poop noses

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