Oompa loompa, doompadee dawesome, Dwight is now gone, which is totally awesome. Why was he gone, he was such a nice guy. No, he was not, he was a total douche. Doompadee doom.

Michael: Dwight you have a diary? Dwight: Yes, I keep secrets from my computer

If you're not first, you're last

Nights a dark time for me. nights a dark time for everyone moron! not for alaskans or dudes with night vision goggles

I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you.

That's what *she* said.

Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and... I have a great one. 'Little Kid Lover'. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.

Mmmmm... I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone, come see how good I look!

That's what *she* said.

I would have loved to have a gay dad. Do you remember at school, there were always kids saying 'My dad's bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' 'So what? My dad will shag your dad. And your dad will enjoy it.'