Scottish Slang
Arsed- Bothered. if u cannot be arsed to do something it simply means you cannot be bothered!

Baggsie- To claim something for yourself " i baggsie first drink fae that buckey!"

Baw bag- 1. the scrotum. 2. an insult to describe someone with low moral fibre, e.g "some baw bag's just knocked ma camera"

Baw deep- descriptive term for being sexually active e.g "a was getting baw deep with that burd from the dancin!"

Baw hair- a small distance e.g "a was a baw hair away from gettin baw deep with that burd from the dancin!"

Blootered- to be in a state of intoxication. Also cabbaged, mangled, pished, rat arsed, pie eyed, reekin, wrecked, steamin, steam boats, wellied, gassed, gone, leathered, nailed. etc

Carry oot- alcohol purchased from your local shop,usually by someone older for consumption in parks, woods, or parties

Cooncil tele- the standard five terestrial channels

Cooncil tele plus- freeview

Dinghy- to ignore somebody, a common comeback is "can i get a paddle with ma dinghy!"

Dobber- 1. a penis. 2. a slow witted person

Edgie- to keep a look out for the police when drinking your carry out

Fanny- the female genitalia also, muff, hole, badger, growler, beaver, fud, flange, wizzards sleeve, clowns pocket, pie, pussy, gash, hatchet wound, crack.

Get it right up ye/roond ye- an expression of jubilationor triumph while at the same time taking pleasure in the defeat of an opponent

Jammy- to have good luck eg he's a jammy bastard findin that tenner

Offski- to leave quickly

Paps- breasts!

Piece- a sandwich

Scran- food

Skitters- Diahorrea

Tan- 1.if u were to tan a window it would be smashing it, 2. if you were to tan ten cans it would be drinking them all. 3. if you were to have a tan your name would prob be stephen galloway

Windae licker- enough said

Yonks- a long time

Y'er Maw- A great way 2 start a fight or a great come back if you cannot think of anything else to say!

New words for 2008


*SALAD DODGER
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

* SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.

* BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

* SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

* SINBAD.
Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

* AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

* GOING FOR A McSH!T.
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.

* 404.
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located.

* AUSSIE KISS.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

* OH - NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').

* GREYHOUND
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
(Could also be called a Pilot Skirt - so short you can see the cockpit)

* JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

* MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

* MYSTERY TAXI.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

* BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3:00am.

* BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

* BREAKING THE SEAL.
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

* TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

* PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks