WHITE FRIENDS: Never ask for food
Bros: Are the reason you have no food.
WHITE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
Bros: Call your parents mum and dad.
WHITE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and>> tell you what you did was wrong. Bros: Would be sitting next to you saying, Damn... we f***ed up... but sh*t was fun!
"WHITE FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
Bros: Tell you to harden up.
WHITE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
Bros: Keep your sh*t so long they forget it"s yours.
WHITE FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
Bros: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
WHITE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that"s what the crowd is doing. Bros: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
WHITE FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
Bros: Walk right in!
WHITE FRIENDS: Are for a while. Bros: Are for life.
WHITE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you"ve had enough. Bros: Will give you another
WHITE FRIENDS: Will laugh if u choke
Bros: would give u a crack and tel u not 2 waste good weed
WHITE FRIENDS: Never been stoned
Bros: Never been sober
WHITE FRIENDS: Have parents
Bros: have several
WHITE FRIENDS: Have shoes
Bros: have yours
WHITE FRIENDS: Would fuck your Mrs
Bros: would fuck her friends

HOW MANY CHRISTCHURCH SCHOOL STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A
LIGHT BULB?

RANGI RURU - One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

HORNBY HIGH - Two. One to change the bulb and one to figure out how to get high off the old one.

ST BEDES - None. They\'re all too drunk to notice and even when they\'re sober if they spot a hole they just put their willy in it.

GIRLS HIGH - One. She\'ll put through a call to maintenance staff because there\'s no way she\'s going to do manual labour.

HILLMORTON - None. That place looks better in the dark.

RICCARTON - Six. One to change it but only after the other five have found an interpreter to translate the English instructions.

BURNSIDE HIGH - Seventy six. One to change the globe. Fifty to protest the globe\'s right not to change and twenty five to stage a counter protest.

CHRIST\'S COLLEGE - None. Those poor bastards are keeping their backs to the wall even if it means standing in the dark. \"If you can\'t get a girl, get a Christ\'s boy\".

AVONSIDE - Five. One to change it, two to make sure her hair ribbons are still in place and another two to make sure her bag looks cool at all times.

LINWOOD HIGH - Six. Four to break into the store, one to steal the globe and one to install it.

VILLA MARIA - None. It is too unsafe for pregnant girls to attempt such a dangerous task.

PAPANUI HIGH - ten. One to change the bulb. One to call their dealer and eight to have a session why they wait.

ARANUI HIGH - None. Everything not welded down had been flogged long ago.

HAGLEY - None. Everyone is either suspended or bunking (including the teachers).

BOYS HIGH - Two, one to change the bulb and one to make the observation that it isn\'t half as bright as the light shining from their arses.

MARIAN - None. They only have to give head to the Shirley boys and it\'s done for them.

RANGIORA HIGH - None. Electricity has yet to make it out that far.

ST THOMAS\'S - Four. One to change the bulb, three to count how many times he mentions rugby and f^$%king someones mother.

ST MAGARETS - None. The Butler can do it.

CASHMERE HIGH - None. They really can\'t be bothered, and there\'s surfing to be done.

LINCOLN HIGH - three - one to change it and two to hold the sheep still so he can stand on it.

SHIRLY BOYS - None. They\'re too busy covertly breaking the bulbs over at Marian so they can get head.

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