1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Masturbate.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

ONE-POINT DARES

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye.

4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way.

6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

TWO POINT DARES

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

FIVE POINT DARES

1) At the end of a meeting! , suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."

5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"

At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again."

9) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10am slot: "See how I look in tights."(5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)

10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."

13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk

16) Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.

1 During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-! life counterparts. And if that wasn't enough for you...

How to keep a healthy level of insanity:

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4) Put your waste basket on your desk and label it "IN".

5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso

6) Finish all your sentences! with "In accordance with the prophecy."

7) Dont use any punctuation

Use, too...much; punctuation!

9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10) Ask

* The butterflies you get in your stomach wehn you like someone new.

* Laughing so hard your face hurts.

* A hot shower

* No lines at the supermarket

* Falling in love

* A special glance

* Getting mail

* Taking a drive on a pretty road.

* Hearing your favourite song on the radio

* Lying in bed listening to the rain outside

* Hot towels fresh out of the dryer

* A bubble bath

* Giggling

* A good conversation

* Finding a 20-rand note in your jacket from last winter

* Laughing at yourself

* Midnight phone calls that last for hours

* Running through sprinklers

* Laughing for absolutely no reason at all

* Having someone tell you that you're beautiful

* Laughing at an inside joke

* GREAT FRIENDS!!!!

* Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you

* Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep

* Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner)

* Making new friends or spending time with old ones

* Playing with a new puppy/kitten...goldfish..

* Having someone play with your hair

* Sweet dreams

* Hot chocolate

* Swinging on swings

* Making eye contact with a cute stranger

* Making chocolate chip cookies, or pancakes! (and eating them...!)

* Holding hands with someone you care about

* Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much-desired present from you

* Watching the sunrise

* Knowing that somebody misses you

* Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply