SMART ARSED ANSWER 6
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row."What are my choices?" the man asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ARSED ANSWER 5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ARSED ANSWER 4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a passing assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The assistant replied, "I'm afraid not, they're dead."

SMART ARSED ANSWER 3
The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for speeding,rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the bobby said. The kid replied, "Yes, well I got here as fast as I could." When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ARSED ANSWER 2
A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The Policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh? The lorry driver said,"No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of diesel!"

SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam. "Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,"Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

1. You used to buy cassette singles… and still have some stashed somewhere…

2. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton

3. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.

4. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.

5. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls (or your sister did).

6. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom

7. Two words: Hammer Pants

8. You watched "Fraggle Rock".

9. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars... and spokey-dokies or playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect

10. You watched "Duck Tales" (Woo ooh!)

11. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

12. You (your sister, cousins) wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

13. You saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen..and still know the turtles names.

14. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.

16. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.

17. L.A. Gear....need I say more?

18. You remember reading Tales of a fourth grade nothing and all the other Judy Blume books.

19. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"

20. You wanted to be a Goonie.

21. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe)

22. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.

23. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

24. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.

25. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.

26. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.

27. Barbie and the Rockers was your favourite band.

28. You thought She-ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hook up.

29. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.

30. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"

31. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

32. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.

33. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.

34. You have ever played with a Skip-It or Elastix

35. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.

36. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.

37. Don't worry, be happy

38. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.

39. You wore socks scrunched down

40. You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.

41. You remember watching both Gremlins movies.

42. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"

43. You remember watching Rainbow Bright and & My Little Pony Tales

44. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.

45. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.

46. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool...and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB"

47. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell," The ORIGINAL class.

48. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.

49. You just sang those words to yourself.

50. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.

51. Homemade Levi shorts.. (the shorter the better)

52. You remember when mullets were cool!

53. You had a mullet!

54. You still sing "We are the World"

55. You tight rolled your jeans.

56. You owned a bannana clip.

57. You used to (and probably still do)
say "What you talkin' 'bout Willis?"

58. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.

59. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren't you!

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my thing when I ask where the toilet is?

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2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

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3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

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4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?

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5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?" No Loser, I paid £7 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

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6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

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7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

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8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

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9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet? " If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?