All About Me!!
1. Full Name: Aaron Barker
2. Nicknames: Barker
3. Birthday: 9th June
4. Place of Birth: Cork
5. Zodiac Sign: Gemini
6. Male or Female: Male
7. Year: 5th
8. School: CBC
9. Occupation: student
10. Residence: Rochestown/Douglas
11. MSN Screen Name: Hotmale
__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Color: Brown
13. Hair Length: shortish (most of the time)
14. Eye color: hazel
15. Skin color: tanned (in summer) some would call me black...
16. Height: 5ft 9" (ffs)
17. Braces?: no
18. Glasses?: in school but contacts for the win
19. Piercings: None
20. Tattoos: None
21. Righty or Lefty: Righty

___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friends: Fearg or Eoin I'd say
23. First Award: GAA (haha) or tennis
24. First Sport You Joined: Hurling
25. First pet: nvr had one

26. First Real Vacation: cyprus
28. First Love:

___ Favorites___

29. Movie: Fast and the furious (the amount of times I've sn it)
30. TV programme: Malcolm, Topgear.
31. Color: Red
32. Rapper: T-pain/mike jones etc.
33. Band:
34. Song Right Now: I'm in love with a stripper
35. Friends: friends? lol
36. Sweet:
37. Sport to Play: tennis or rugby
38. Restuarant: East Village! Savage burgers
39. Favorite brand: Tommy Hilfiger or Boss
40. Store: dunno
41. School Subject: Science
42. Animal: Bloodhound FTW!
43. Book: Remnants
44. Magazine: Playgirl
45. Shoes: Goodyears, Lacost and DVS

___Currently___

46. Feeling: bored
47. Single or Taken?: single
48. Have a crush: Dunno
49. Eating: Nothing
50. Drinking: Nothing
51. Typing: God no
52. Online?: how could I be? No pc....
53. Listening: I can't wait
54. Thinking About: Nothing
55. Wanting To: finish this
56. Watching: The Screen
57. Wearing: Black next longsleeve and black O neills

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids?: ya prob
59. Get Married: yes
60. Careers in Mind: Journalism, IT??, science
61. Where do you want to live: Cork nd/or America
62. Car: honda S2000

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

63. Hair color: don't care tbh
64. Hair length: long enuf
65. Eye color: whatever
66. Measurments: Oh god has to be 36-24-36
67. Cute or Sexy: both? both!
68. Lips or Eyes: Eyes
70. Short or Tall: A bit smaller than me
71. Easygoing or serious: Easygoing
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: a bit of both
73. Fatty or Skinny: in between
74. Sensitive or Loud: sensitive
75. Hook-up or Relationship?: Relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: both
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Trouble Maker

___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger: Ya
79. Had Alcohol: God no, I'm a pioneer
80. Smoked: Never!
81. Ran Away From Home: Tried 2!
82. Broken a bone: 3 fingers
83. Got an X-ray: 11 or 12 times..
84. consumed drugs: not really
85. stolen something: yes
86. seen someone die: no
87. Cried When Someone Died: Ya
88. Cried At School: primary I'd say so.

___Do You Believe In___

89. God: no
90. Miracles: no
91. Love At First sight: not yet.
92. Ghosts: yes
93. Aliens: no
94. Soul Mates: ya
95. Heaven: no
96. Hell: does Mahonys class count?
97. Angels: no
98. Kissing on The First Date? Ya
99. Horoscopes: no

___Answer Truthfully___

100. Is There Someone You Want But You Know You Can't Have? nope

NORTHSIDE LEAVING CERT

MATHS TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS
IN THE NORTHSIDE OF DUBLIN

NAME _________________________

NICK-NAME ____________________

GANG NAME ____________________

1. Deco has 0.5 kilos of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Vinno for 300 Euro and 90 grams to Tomo for 90 Euro a gram,what is the street value of the rest of
his hold?

2. Anto pimps 3 brassers. If the price is 40 Euro a royde, how many roydes
per day must each brasser perform to support Vinno's 500 Euro a day crack habit?

3. Whacker wants to cut the kilo of cocaine he bought for 7,000 Euro, to make a 20% profit. How many grams of strychnine will he need?

4. Christy got 6 years for murder. He also got €350,000 for the hit. If his
common law wife spends €33,100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out of the 'Joy?

Extra Credit Bonus: How much more time will Christy get for killing the
slapper that spent his money?

5. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square metres and the average
letter is 1 square metre, how many letters can be sprayed with an eight fluid ounce can of spray paint with 20% extra paint free?

6. Liamo steals Eamo's skateboard. As Liamo skates away at a speed of 35 mph, Eamo loads his brother’s gun. If it takes Eamo 20 seconds to load the gun, how far will Liamo have travelled when he gets whacked?

***

SOUTH SIDE LEAVING CERT

MATHS TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS
IN THE SOUTHSIDE OF DUBLIN

NAME______________________________
________________________
__________________________________
_________________________
__________________________________
_________________________
__________________________________
_________________________
__________________________________
_________________________
__________________(if longer, please request extra paper)

SCHOOL____________________

DADDY'S COMPANY___________

1. Julian smashes up the old man's car, causing x amount of damage and
killing three people. The old man asks his local TD to intervene in the court system, then forges his insurance claim and receives a payment of y. The difference between x and y is three times the life insurance settlement for the three dead people. What kind of car is Julian driving now?

2. Chloe's personal shopper decides to substitute generic and own-brand
products for the designer goods favoured by her employer. In the course of a
month she saves the price of a return ticket to Fiji and Chloe doesn't even
notice the difference. Is she thick or what?

3. Roly fancies the arse off a certain number of tarts, but he only has
enough Rohypnol left to render 33.3% unconscious. If he has 14 Rohypnol, how is he ever going to shag the other two-thirds?

4. If Savannah throws up four times a day for a week she can fit a size 8
Versace. If she only throws up three times a day for two weeks, she has to make do with a size 10 Dolce et Gabbano. How much does liposuction cost?

5. If Ross shouts Affluence 5 many times from the car window how many high fives is he due?
***
COUNTRY LEAVING CERT

MATHS TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS
OUTSIDE DUBLIN

Name: Paddy/Mary (circle one)

1. If Paddy Joe Murphy drove a Massey Ferguson through PaddyJohn’s turnip
crop at 10miles an hour. What colour was Paddy John’s tractor?

2. If John Joe likes Mary and Mary likes Paddy, how much is a pint of stout
in O'Brien’s at the crossroads?

3. Paddy Joe Mahoney has 25 sheep, 10 cows, 12 hens, a cockerel and 6 geese. John Joe has 12 sheep, 18 cows and 12 pigs. How much does Paddy Joe offer to John Joe for a dowry for Mary?

4. If it takes Sarah Jane 40 minutes to cycle 12 miles to O'Brien’s on the
crossroads for the ceilidh and it takes Mary Murphy 40 minutes to walk 2 miles
to O'Brien’s, which girl will end up in John Joe’s hay barn?

5. If Paddy Joe’s prize hen can lay 4 eggs every morning and his other hens
can lay only two each the odd morning, which one will he have for

>After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe

sheet,"

>which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics

>correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then

pilots

>review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said

that

>ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance

>complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the

solutions

>recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

>

>By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had

an

>accident.

>

>P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

>S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

>

>P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

>S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

>

>P: Something loose in cockpit.

>S: Something tightened in cockpit.

>

>P: Dead bugs on windshield.

>S: Live bugs on back-order.

>

>P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute

descent.

>S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

>

>P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

>S: Evidence removed.

>

>P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

>S: DME volume set to more believable level.

>

>P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

>S: That's what friction locks are for.

>

>P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

>S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

>

>P: Suspected crack in windshield.

>S: Suspect you're right.

>

>P: Number 3 engine missing.

>S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

>

>P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

>S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

>

>P: Target radar hums.

>S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

>

>P: Mouse in cockpit.

>S: Cat installed.

>

>And the best one for last..................

>

>P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget

pounding

>on something with a hammer.

>S: Took hammer away from midget