That's it. I've decided I'm running away with The Circus. I've always been a bit of a tomboy. I reckon I could perfect some lion taming. I like to dress a bit colourfully, so maybe I could do the clown thing... I have no co-ordination though, so that rules out the tight-rope and the unicycles... OK, so I don't have many obvious skills to bring to the table but last Saturday night in Croke Park I was convinced that it would be a pretty cool job, if they'd have me.

Elephants, giant inflatable men, tightrope walkers, fireworks...
Take That's latest tour is a non-stop gasp-fest. I went along to Croke Park expecting to have a good time (after all I've loved them since I was about ten-years-old) but the show that I saw completely surpassed all my expectations. It was just such a spectacular visual experience. Everything about The Circus was amazing. Yeah, last week I wrote about Beyoncé's gig being one of the best I've ever been to, and it was. She has an amazing voice and brilliant natural presence, but Take That just took my breath away. I found myself gawping at the stage like a child as all the circus acts kicked off the show and I kept a silly grin on my face right up until their final goodbye. This, folks, is how comebacks are done.

If you're a fan of Take That then you were always going to enjoy the show. Most of their new stuff from The Circus album is in there but they've also hung onto the elements that worked from their last tour, like Jason Orange's amazing performance of Wooden Boat - and, for good measure, all of the old classics from their first time out (like Relight My Fire, Could It Be Magic and A Million Love Songs) are included too. It's total sing-along fare.

The opening to the show was spectacular for me. First the clowns come mingle in the crowd (nice touch... particularly if you're the kind of person who feels the need to drag one of those colourfully dressed characters into a picture with you!)... then there's the entourage of circus fun - the balloons, the bright costumes, the dramatic music and a surprise entrance from the lads on the B stage - nice touch. And then it's almost all a blur. There was just too much going on to try to remember it all.

The best bits
Afterwards you were on such an annoying high that you couldn't stop talking about the concert - but what was your favourite part? Was it the giant people-powered elephant? (Too impressive for words - go creative team!) Or was it getting hosed down with a mini-shower if you were close enough to the stage? (If anyone else had sprayed water on me at a show I might have been a little peeved but I was more than alright with that on the night). Or maybe it was the comedy touches whether intentional (some great unicycle moves) or unintentional (like poor Mark Owen's trousers splitting after a costume change - not that anyone seemed to be complaining... roughly 80,000 people were of the opinion that it was a sign and he should just shed them!).

Or was it watching the lads dressing as clowns on stage or almost having a heart-attack watching that very brave tight-rope walker or maybe it was just reliving all the memories of their songs from down through the years or watching the pyrotechnics and fireworks display at the end? I honestly couldn't pick a stand-out highlight myself... unless I'm going to be totally biased towards Jason and pick Wooden Boat but that would be unfair, right? Mark carried on performing with a giant split in his pants. Gary held the show single-handedly at the piano churning out all the old classics that had everyone singing along. And Howard came up with the unicycle idea, which was so funny on stage.

When I tried to describe the concert to other very jealous people who weren't there I just couldn't seem to explain how big it all was. That's why it worked. No detail had been overlooked. It was just such a spectacle. Credit has to go to the massive crew who work on staging, choreography, special effects and

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with
Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.


Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really
hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,



Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card That's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.

>01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys
> when they aren't looking.
>
>02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute
> intervals
>
>03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies
> toilet.
>
>04. Walk up to an employee and tell him?her in an official tone:
> Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens.
>
>05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.
>
>06. Move a 'CAUTION -WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>
>07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you
> are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the
> bedding Department.
>
>08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask:
> "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
>
>09. Look right into the security
>camera, use it as a mirror and pick
>your nose.
>
>10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if
he
> knows where the anti-depressants are located.
>
>11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme
> from Mission Impossible.
>
>12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse
>through,
>say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"
>
>13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and
> assume the foetal position and scream "NO! ........It's those voices
> again!!!"
>
>And last but not least:
>
>14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell
> loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here."