Just to explain to none irish readers - culchies are people from the country...

1 A nice bit of ham.
2 Buttered biscuits.
3 Diggin Houles.
4 Saying its too cold to snow
5 Pretending to know about The Ra.
6 Tayto Cheese & Onion
7 Pretending they're in The Ra.
8 A stretch in the evenings
9 Lucozade
10 Accordians
11 Pretending to like Holy Week.
12 A dinner dance
13 Gettin clattered in muck.
14 Shania Twain.
15 Hefers
16 Spittin in their hands before doing anything manual
17 Steel toe caps
18 A big bowl of carrots & parsnips.
19 Eating sangwiches out of the boot of a car at GAA
20 Saying someones 'Opened a Book' on something.
21 The smell of fresh dung.
22 Slice-Your-Own Loaf.
23 Work Clothes
24 A bottle of mineral.
25 Fightin'.
26 Puttin on a ganzee to stop them from bein foundered
27 'The' Hurling/Fitball.
28 Being overweight.
29 Wimen wha resemble Hefers.
30 Saying "Aaah" after taking their first sup of tae.
31 Drink driving.
32 Red diesel
33 The Fear of Change.
34 A nice bit of Barnbrac
35 Lying.
36 Building walls.
37 Being starved with the cold rather than with a lack of food
38 Pretending to like mass
39 Talking about ***** like Flax and the Corncrake.
40 A good blackthorn walkin stick.
41 Shouting 'Yeeeeeoooo' when something good happens.
42 Mohammed Ali.
43 Machinery.
44 Strange uppy-downy walks.
45 A good f**kin read of Irelands Own.
46 Gelling their 1cm fringe tight to their forehead.
47 Scandal, as long as its about other people.
48 Turf, because Sentirl heatin's for wimen.
49 Soda farls
50 Sponge 'n Custirt
51 Newmerica', and anything to do with it.
52 Givin the dog the wildest baytins.
53 Givin the wife the wildest baytins.
54 The Ra.
55 Winning a leg of lamb in a raffle.
56 Wrecking the house whilst steaming.
57 Club Orange
58 rubbing their hands together before tucking into their dinner
59 The Foot & Mouth.
60 Aetin' a big feed of spuds.
61 TK Red Lemonade
62 Good Short hair for boys and nice long hair for the wimen(it confuses them otherwise)

1) The GAA player who played in front of 80,000 at the weekend will be teaching your children, selling you meat or will be your local GP. The soccer player who plays in front of 80,000 will be moaning about playing too many games and will be trying to sell you his
personalised brand of leisure wear.
2) GAA nicknames are better. Soccer players just add a Y to their surnames.
3) Dublin vs Meath is a real derby. What does Utd. Vs City mean to Ronaldo or Sibierski?
4) How many soccer players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer eleven. One to stick it in and ten to surround and kiss him and tell him his hairs nice after he does it!
5) Soccer players go to the papers after a game. GAA players go to the pub.
6) John Terry would run a mile if he came up against Francie Bellew!
7) GAA teams are numbered 1-15. A soccer team reads like the lottery results
All soccer players wear shin pads. Some hurlers wear helmets
9) Television runs soccer. School teachers run the GAA
10) The GAA is about where you're from. Soccer is about who you like.
11) No segregation at GAA games
12) No soccer team has a nickname quite as lovely as the Fighting Cocks of Carlow.
13) Bubble perms never made it to Croke Park.
14) A scoreless draw in the GAA would be quite a novelty.
15) Would you not be happier if your child wore a Gaelic Football Jersey instead of a secterian old firm jersey
16) A Gaelic Football jersey has a 1 to 2 year life span while a a soccer team could have 3 tops in a year (Yeah they really do this due to love of there fans £££££££££) All sports wear' used in the GAA states in the rules that it must be made in Ireland therefore assiting help employment in Ireland, and not just sending it to asia to be made for pennys.
17)Gaelic games are played by more people in Ireland than rugby & soccer combind
1 Bet you have never heard of a gaelic footballer been charged with consuming illegal drugs, been charged for rape, drink driving, etc, yet soccer players are never off the front pages of tabliods for commiting such acts
19) Honour, respect and loyalty are all vital in a GAA player unlike the majority of soccer players who have more clubs than tiger woods!!!
20) Roman Abramovich can buy the League. You can't buy Sam!!

A BLACK MAN WALKS INTO A CAFE EARLY ONE MORNING AND NOTICES HE'S THE ONLY ONE THERE

AS HE SAT DOWN HE NOTICED A WHITE MAN SAT BEHIND HIM, THE WHITE MAN SAID "COLOURED PEOPLE ARN'T ALLOWED IN HERE" .

THE BLACK MAN REPLIED...

"WHEN I WAS BORN I WAS BLACK

WHEN I GREW UP I WAS BLACK

WHEN I'M SICK I'M BLACK

WHEN I GO IN THE SUN I'M BLACK

WHEN I'M COLD I'M BLACK

AND WHEN I DIE I'M BLACK.

BUT YOU SIR...

WHEN YOU WERE BORN YOU WERE PINK

WHEN YOUR'E SICK YOUR'E GREEN

WHEN YOU STAY IN THE SUN YOUR'E RED

WHEN YOUR'E COLD YOU TURN BLUE

AND WHEN YOU DIE YOU TURN "PURPLE."

"AND YET YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO CALL ME COLOURED"

THE BLACK MAN TURNED BACK AROUND AND THE WHITE MAN WALKED AWAY.

dats funny cuz its true