A good friend will come and bail you out of jail

But a true friend would be sitting beside you saying... Fuck.. we screwed up!

WOMAN'S POEM


Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.



MAN'S POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a golf course.

This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

....

1. Full Name: Stephen Andrew Martin Rodger
2. Nicknames: Steve, Stevie, Steve-0, The burd Stealer, Grim Reaper,Darkness
3. Birthday: 25/03/86
4. Place of Birth: Perth
5. Zodiac Sign: Aries
6. Male or Female: Male
7. School: Crieff Primary, High and Perth College
8. Occupation: Mega - Bytes Internet Cafe
9. Residence: Crieff
10. MSN Screen Name: TeamHaggis!!
__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Color: Black
13. Hair Length: V.short
14. Eye color: Hazel
15. Weight: Heavy
16. Height: 6'
19. Piercings: 0
20. Tattoos: Lion Rampant, Right arm
21. Righty or Lefty: righty

___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: Jamie something, Cant remember his surname
23. First Award: Swimming
24. First Sport You Joined: Rugby
25. First pet: Dog, Cindy
26. First Real Vacation: Turkey or Bulgaria
28. First True Love: Jack D
___ Favorites___

29. Movie: Braveheart
30. TV programme: House
31. Color: Red
32. Rapper: Eminem in his first 2 albums, the rest sux.
33. Band: Jack johnson
34. Song Right Now: Purple Haze / Seargent where's mine.
35. Friends: All of them, They all have there moments!
36. Sweet: Tofitas, dont get them in this country but theyre WELL GOOD!!!
37. Sport to Play: Fishing
38. Restuarant: None, I prefer to cook.
39. Favorite brand: Rockport
40. Store: Anne Summers
41. School Subject: German, what a mad class i had! Cry techer! CRY!!!
42. Animal: Dog want a parrot tho.
43. Book: Band of brothers!
44. Magazine: Nuts
45. Shoes: Rockies Of course!

___Currently___

46. Feeling: Hung over
47. Single or Taken?: Happy
48. Have a crush: Yes a Huge one!
49. Eating: Nothing
50. Drinking: Rio
51. Typing: What a silly fucking question
52. Online?: Read above
53. Listening To: Jack Johnson
54. Thinking About: Closing the shop
55. Wanting To: Stop being hung over!
56. Watching: Family Guy
57. Wearing: Nothing, and im at the library!

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids?: Yes
59. Want to be Married?: Yea probably
60. Careers in Mind: Open a chain of internet cafe's
61. Where do you want to live: New-Zealand or Canada i think.
62. Car: Porsche 911, the Carrera GT might be a little out of reach

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

63. Hair color: No prefference really, but i usualy end up with blondes, a few more brunnettes recently than usual tho, and iv had a few red heads too. cant say hair colour makes a difference tho.

64. Hair length: Just depends what looks good on her, but i doubt id be phisicaly attracted to a skin-head.

65. Eye color: Brown but it doesnt matter really.

66. measurements: Size isnt an issue.. gotta have a peachy bum, Not a fan of big boobs, they go sour easily

67. Cute or Sexy: Both

68. lips or eyes: Eyes

69. Hugs or Kisses: both

70. Short or Tall: Shorter than me.
71. Easygoing or serious: Mostly easygoing but serious when needed
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: Both
73. Fatty or Skinny: Pot bellied watch Pulp fiction if u dont know what i mean
74. Sensitive or Loud: Sensitive, But arent all women loud after a few drinks? lol!

75. Hook-up or Relationship: Relationship is better but we all like a hook-up now n again.

76. Sweet or caring: Cant they be both?
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Hmmm... Neither...

___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger: Yep
79. Had Alcohol: Too much

80. Smoked: yep
81. Ran Away From Home: Nope
82. Broken a bone: Yes, mostly fingers
84. Slept with someone: Yep
85. Broken Someones Heart: Dont know, Maybe
86. Broke Up With Someone: Yes
87. Cried When Someone Died: No
88. Cried At School: Cant remember, probably

___Do You Believe In___

89. God: No.
90. Miracles: No.
91. Love At First sight: No, "Lust at first sight" tho
92. Ghosts: No
93. Aliens: I know for a fact they "could" exist, wether or not they "do" exist is another story all together
94. Soul Mates: No
95. Heaven: Yes it comes in the form of a white powder tho
96. Hell: