1 why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

2 why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

3 Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

4 Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

5 Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?

6 Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

7 Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him?

8 Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

9 Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

10 What is the speed of darkness?

11 Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people At The Special Olympics?

12 If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

13 If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

14 If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

15 If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

16 Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

17 If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

18 Can you cry under water?

19 What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

20 If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

21 Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

22 How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?

23 Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?

24 If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

25 Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

26 Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or Close the cubicle curtain while you change? ..... They're still going to see you naked anyway.

MALE COMEBACKS TO FEMALE COMEBACKS TO MALE CHAT UP LINES

>THIS IS REALLY FUNNY

>Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
>Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
>Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut.

>

>Man: Is this seat empty?
>Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
>Man: There's no need to get on your knees and suck on my c&^% just yet

>

>Man: Your place or mine?
>Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
>Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of my
>car, I don't give a shit where you go.

>

>Man: So, what do you do for a living?
>Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
>Man: That explains the moustache then!

>

>(CLASSIC!!!!)
>Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
>Woman: Unfertilized.
>Man: No problem, I'll just shoot my load up your arse.

>

>Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
>Woman: But would you stay there?
>Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of chick that is
>impossible to shake off once you've been shagged.

>

>Man: Would you like to dance?
>Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
>Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look fat in those pants.

>

>Man: Where have you been all my life?
>Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
>Man: Just as well cos I've been shagging your mum while your dad watches.

>

>Man: You're pretty
>Woman: Piss off.
>Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you fat bitch.