Are you a good friend?
Friday, May 1, 2009

Here’s ten ways you can become a great best friend.







Be Loyal.
The guy who just broke up with your friend has asked you out. You think he’s totally hot, but do you say yes? Think about the bond you and your best friend have and how that would make her feel. Things like that are sometimes hard to do, but if you want a solid friendship you have to be loyal.


Listen.
Nobody likes a best friend who just talks and talks about themselves, but never listens. If they ask for advice, listen carefully and give them the best advice you can.


Be trustworthy.
If your best friend tells you a secret, keep it. Don't even leak it out to someone you think you can trust. A secret is a secret.


Stick up for them.
If a girl in your group is bitching about your bestie, would you join in? True friends stick up for each-other and don’t play nasty games. If the other girls in the group don’t respect you for sticking up for her, they’re not worth your time.


Spend time together.
Do you dump your best friend if you get a better offer? Good friends spend time together — at school and on the weekends. Why not plan some fun activities with your best friend like, go to the beach on a hot day or go on a shopping spree. Even just dagging around in your PJs is fun when you’re besties!


Be yourself.
Be yourself and do not act fake. Being yourself around someone is part of what makes you guys best friends.


Don’t be jealous.
She may want to spend time with other friends or possibly a boyfriend. If they have to cancel plans with you, try not to stress. Make other plans for another time when you know they will be able to.


Laugh together.
Having someone who gets all your jokes is one of the best things about having a best friend. Try renting some funny movies to give you a few more one-liners to make each other giggle.


Bury the hatchet.
If you and your friend have a massive fight, be the bigger person and try to make up. You won’t regret the friends you keep, just the ones you lose.


Stand up for yourself.
It’s great to look out for everyone else’s feelings, but it’s not OK to let people walk over you. Sometimes you’ve got to get off that fence and stand up for yourself!

You know the meaning of 'girt'

You believe that stubbies can either be worn or drunk

You think it is normal to have a Prime Minister called Kevin

You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse

You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden

When you hear that an American 'roots for his team' you wonder how often and with whom

You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds

You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'

You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'

You believe the 'L' in the word ' Australia ' is optional

You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas'

You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep

You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'

You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place

You believe is makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin

You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'

You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread

You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis

You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says 'cobber'

You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again'

You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year

You still don't get why the 'Labor' in 'Australian Labor Party' is not spelt with a 'u'

You wear ugg boots outside the house

You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them

Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language

You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is alway polite

You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasions via your nose

You understand that 'you' has a plural and that it's 'youse'

You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle

Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules of beach cricket

You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'

You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'

When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit

You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered

You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction

When working at a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer

You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second

You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.

You will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand!!

´F.|J¨tJ

A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into Kmart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The door greeter says, 'Good morning and welcome to Kmart, nice children you've got there. Are they twins?'

The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl: 'Of course they bloody aren't! The oldest is nine and the youngest is seven. Why the hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you really think they look alike, you d*ckhead?'

' Absolutely not,' replies the greeter, 'I just can't believe anyone would shag you twice!'