To the air of The Rose of Mooncoin

How sweet tis to roam in the Tipp countryside
And to to hear that they now have a good hurling side
Well its taken a long time but they still know the score
That the real Home of Hurling is down by the Nore

Chorus

Good on you Brian Cody, We`d like to thank you
When we beat Tipperary, all our grey skies are blue
Every day is like Christmas and the waters like wine
When we beat Tipperary in the Croke Park Sunshine

Liam Sheedy, Liam Sheedy, it moves me to tears
To know that you wont see an All Ireland for years
But we`ll think of you Liam, you poor ould Shtone Thrower
When we bring back the cup to its home by the Nore

Chorus

Way back in the Sixties, the Tipp men would say
They could beat up Kilkenny, any time any day
But ever since 67, we`ve been good to go
Now they`re just another victim in the Four in a Row

Chorus

Then they said that our Gorta was over the hill
But they just could`nt cope with his pace and his skill
And now Henry and Tommy and the rest of our Stars
Have a message for Ireland - Munster Hurling Me Arse

Good on you Brian Cody, We`d like to thank you
When we beat Tipperary, all our grey skies are blue
Every day is like Christmas and the waters like wine
When we give Tipp a lesson in the Croke Park Sunshine

SYMPTOM: Pint appears to be crystal clear...
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him/her.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognise anyone, don't even recognise the room you're in.
FAULT: Don't panic - you've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they've any free pints anyhow.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Pint appears unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to get you another pint.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You've fallen over backwards.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar counter.

SYMPTOM: Beer tastes tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to loo, practise in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another pub/party

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed, have yez no homes to go to
ACTION: Confirm home address with barman, grab taxi home.

SYMPTOM: Taxi's interior suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on a table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurts, nose hurts, mind unusually clear though.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologise to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: That lager is too weak.
ACTION: Have more drink until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

SYMPTOM: Ugly woman/man in your sights.
FAULT: Insufficient beer intake.
ACTION: Up dosage immediately.

SYMPTOM: Shins and toes hurt.
FAULT: You've been walking into things.
ACTION: Maintain dosage.

SYMPTOM: Bed is bumping around.
FAULT: Taking an ambulance ride.
ACTION: It's too late, you made complete arsehole of self.

1. Operator...give me the number for 911!

2. Release the hounds!

3. I had a cat called snowball, she died she died. Mom said she was sleeping, she lied! She lied!

4. What kind of pet shop is full of jazz music, dandys and partying maniacs at 3am? .......The best damn pet shop in town!

5. Marge, I love you, and I can tell from your basic level of courtesy that you love me too!

6. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

7. Here's to alcohol, the cause of... and solution to... all life's problems...

8. Here comes the friendship boat! Dang, lost a fingernail..well thats the problem with being anorexic! <-wrong it's leprosey!!!

9. Arghhh that racoon stole my lamb chop!

10. I bent my wookie.

11. Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic."

12. *Steven Tyler adressing the crowd at Moe's*
"Hellllloooooo Saint Loouuuuuiiiiisssss!!!!!"

13. If he's so smart how come he's dead?

14. Hi, i'm Troy McClure, you may remember me from such self-help videos as "smoke yourself thin" and "get confident, stupid!"

15. "I cannae do it captain. I cannae reach th' controls!!"
(Scottie in Star Trek XII - So very very tired) ????

16. I am the Lizard Queen!!

17. Stupid like a fox!..

18. Doh!

19. simpson homer simpson he's the greatest man history from the town of springfield he's about to hit a chestnut tree argh!!!

20.I take a whiskey drink i take a lager drink and when i need to urinate i use the kitchen sink!!

21. Purple's a fruit!!!

22.Youll have to speak up, im wearing a towel!!!

23. *homer reads sign on wall "If you can read this, you are overqualified* "Marge, what does that say?"

24. Homer-"'To start press any key.' Where's the 'any' key?"

25. Homer-"I swear Marge, i never would have done it if i'd known you'd find out"

26. Max Power, its d name u love to touch....but u musnt touch!!

27. I want some tiquitos!

28. U sunk my battleship ahahha

29. hey u guys could u stop kickin dat around, my pills r in dat can!

30. (Guy in eurodisney) Suckera bleugh... my kids need wine!!

31. Homer: They've d internet on computers now??

32. Bart: Mom those drugs are having side effects, my testicles wont fit in my shorts anymore. Marge: Dont do dat wit ur lunch dear

33. Barney: I dunno where u pixies came out of, but i sure do like ur pixie drink

34. Homer: Ooooh! They've got the internet on computers now!

35. Homer: wheres that metal thing you use 2 dig? Marge: You mean a spoon?

36.Homer: the only monster here is the gambling monster which as enslaved ur mother, i call him gambloor and we must save her from his neon lights

37. Flanders: 8:45 here i am yepping away like its 8:35

38. Homer: Hello my name is Mr.Burns i believe u have a letter for me. Cleck: Ok Mr.Burns What ur first name. Homer: I Dont no
39! Lisa: if anybody wants me il be in my room!
40. Grandpa Simpson: ribbed condom....i love to live in 1 f dose!!!