1. Whats your Name?
2. Are we friends?
3. What do you think of me?
4. Could you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Describe me in three words?
7. If you had me for 30 Mins what would you do?
8. What was your first impression of me?
9. Do u still think the same?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. What do you like best about me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something you couldn't?
15. Could you ever love me?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why?
17. Are u gonna put this on ur blog and see what i say about u?
19. Anything to say before you go?


-Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

-Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

-My Love for you is like diarrohea ... I can't hold it in.

-Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.

-Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

-If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

-You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light
switch away.

-Man - Fat Penguin !Woman - WHAT?
Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

-I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

-I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went
in to this cheap motel room.

-Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

-If you're going to regret doing this in the morning, we can sleep until
the afternoon.

Random chat up line:
Boy-shit!
Girl-wot?
Boy-I bit my lip, can u kiss it betta?


1. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going
as ghosts, but as mattresses?

3. If a deaf guy swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

4. Is there another word for synonym?

5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?

6. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

7. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

8. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

9. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

10. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

12. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

13. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

18. Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an S in it?

19. Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids instead of asteroids?

Did you ever stop and wonder.......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these
pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there...I'm gonna eat the
next thing that comes outta it's bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to
their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?.."I POINT TO MY BUM BUM"

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed
if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me!)

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost.. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading
rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, mo nkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What a m I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says.

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!

Moral of this story....

Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bu****it and brilliance only come with age and experience.

I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more youthfully challenged. You did notice the size of the print?

and DONT MESS WITH POODLES!!!!!!


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