Penis Contract
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labour.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I don't get paid overtime.
7. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8. I work in high temperatures, and my work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1. You cannot work 8 hours straight.
2. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative-you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire well before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

read this one first, then write the names of YOUR top 16 and answer the questions on them and repost it. sound simple enough???

1. Beckina
2. Pipalip
3. Laura
4. Robbie
5. Danny Warren
6. Josh
7. Hugh Perkins
8. Andy
9. Shaun
10. Emz
11. Serro
12. Vicky
13. Hannah
14. Dan
15. Kate
16. Edd

Q: Have you ever kissed 6?:
A. Yep! Lots

Q. Whats your least favourite thing about number 13?
A. She puts herself down wen she gorgeous!

Q: What's the best memory you have of 9?
A. When she was dancing 2 candy man at her party!

Q: When's the next time you're gonna see 4?
A: Monday at work

Q: is number 7 pretty?
A: oooo hes gorgeous! haha

Q: What was your first impression of number 8?
A. Ur crazy stop staring at me!

Q. What do you like most about number 14?
A. hes actually reli sweet & he cums out with the most random crap! love it!

Q: How did you meet 3?:
A: Yr 10 at skl

Q: Do you think 12 would kill someone?
A: ye with her bare hands!

Q: Is 11 your best friend?:
A: No but she is lovely

Q. How long have you known number 13?
A: Um mayb nearly a yr dunelm work

Q: Have you seen 3 naked?
A. Nope

Q: Do you think 5 has a crush on you?
A: Blatently ye! na not reli!

Q: What is the last thing you did with 6?
A: Shout at him 4 calling me a fat bitch!

Q. If you could give anyfin 2 number 15 wat would it be?
A: Lots of pics and vids of the gud times so she dont 4get me a col!

Q. Would number 2 and number 16 make a good couple?
A. ye y not! there both crazy!

Q. If number 14 was a crayon, what colour would she be?
A. Blue coz hes chilled

Q: Have you ever been to 3's house?
A: No actually thinkin bwt it!

Q: Have you ever slept in the same bed as 7?:
A: Nope

Q: When's the next time you'll see 5?:
A: Monday at work!

Q: Are you real close to 11?:
A: Not reli but i love her

Q: Have you ever kissed 1?
A: YE! loads

Q: Have you ever been to the movies with 8?
A: Nope

Q. Whats number 2's house like?
A. gorj! bitch face!hehe

Q: Have you ever been angry with 12:
A: Ye 4 but 4 silly little things!

Q: Would you ever make a move on no.10!
A: if i was a lesbian mayb. haha

Q: What do you and number 4 talk about the most?
A: Sex!

Q: Do you ever talk to 9?
A: ye all the time

Q: What do u think of number 16?
A: he is sooo random it scares me1

Dear Ram,

You have a cute______.

You make me _______.

You should _______.

Someday I will ______.

You + me =________.

If I saw you now I'd __________.

I would build a _______ just for you.

If I could sing you any song it would be _________.

We could __________ under the stars.

My love for you is like that of ____________.

Love,
_______________

(P.S. ______________.)