You are a Scouser,
An ugly Scouser,
You're only happy,
On Giro day.
Your mum's out thieving,
Your dad's drug-dealing,
So please don't take my hubcaps away.




You look in the dustbin for something to eat,
You find a dead rat and you think it's a treat,
In your Liverpool slums
In your Liverpool slums,
You shit on the carpet, you piss in the bath,
You finger your grandma, and think its a laugh,
In your Liverpool slums.
In your Liverpool slums,
You speak in an accent exceedingly rare,
You wear a pink tracksuit and have curly hair,
In your Liverpool slums.
In your Liverpool slums,
Your mum's on the game and your dad's in the nick,
You can't get a job 'cos you're too fucking thick,
In your Liverpool slums.


He's only a poor little scouser,
His face is all battered and torn,
He made me feel sick,
So I hit him with a brick,
And now he don't sing anymore.


If you want to go to heaven when you die,
You must keep the Red Flag flying high,
You must wear a red bonnet,
With fuck the Scousers' on it,
If you want to go to heaven when you die

It was on a famous Saturday they met the Busby Boys,
A Saturday afternoon.
We came across some Liverpool fans,
Singing Liverpool songs,
They sang You'll Never Walk Alone,
They made a terrible noise.
We chased them up Picadilly,
We chased them down Deansgate (Deansgate),
We made them sing Denis Law's our king,
And fuck Bill Shankley's boys,
And fuck Bill Shankley's boys.


Feed the Scousers,
Let them know it's Christmas time,
Feed the Scousers,
Let them know it's Christmas time,


Steve Gerrard Gerrard,
He kisses the badge on his chest,
Then puts in a transfer request,
Steve Gerrard Gerrard.


people screaming are you listening
fences rattling & bodies clattering
what a wonderful sight im happy tonight
walking in a hillsborough wonderland

Michael Shields got 10 more years,
Now he's getting bummed by queers.
10 more years with no parole,
now he's got a sore arsehole.


Stevie Gerrard,
His missus sniffs coke cos shes made,
She's pregnant and he's not the dad,
Stevie Gerrard, Gerrard
UNITED,UNITED,UNITED

There's a place we know where Scousers go
and it's always lots of fun
you can have a laugh at many things
if you're ready with a pun

You can mock the dead of Munich
be glad that George Best's dead
you can sing a dozen funny songs
of Duncan Edward's head

You can hope that Gary Neville
gets cancer and he dies
throw ammonia at Whiteside
and hope it blinds his eyes

You can even stone an ambulance
where Alan Smith is lying
even if it doesn't overturn
it's bound to be fun trying

You can talk of many pleasant things
with your like-minded mates
but you'll pause to show such reverence
as you pass the Shankly Gates

Where every single Scouser
who ever passed away
must be honoured and respected
have their own special day

Cos Scousers are a special breed
their hearts upon their sleeve
they ask the country to join in
and watch them as they grieve

They celebrate and they respect
each Scouser who departs
they ask that we can shed their tears
and nurse their broken hearts

Yet mention dead of anyone
who doesn't fit their own
they laugh out loud there is no shred
of honour ever shown

They laugh at young men dying
on runways filled with ice
and celebrate that Munich day
and never would think twice

of mocking Harold Shipman's dead
that lived within our city
these wallowers in plastic grief
the masters of self pity

They wave their tin foil silverware
and throw cups filled with sh!t
to shower on opposing fans
but never will admit

the murder of their very own
their much loved Stanley knives
the night they killed Juventus fans
a tragic waste of lives

It's "justice for the 96"
but never 39
It's grieving for 'poor' Michael Shields
but not for Heysel dying

It's always everybody else
they're not the ones

Founded: 1878
Turned Professionel: 1885
Limited Company: 1907
Former Names: 1878-1880 Newton Heath LYR
1880-1902 Newton Heath
Nickname: Red Devils
Stadium: Old Trafford
Capacity: 76,000
Pitch Size: 116 yards x 76 yards
Address: Manchester United Football Club,Old Trafford,Sir Matt Busby Way,Manchester M16 ORA,England.
Sponsors:Nike,AIG,Budweiser,Air Asia,Audi,Century fm
Chairman:Sir Roy Gardner
Chief Executive: David Gill
Manager: Sir Alex Ferguson
Assistant Manager: Carlos Queiroz



CLUB HONOURS

LEAGUE CHAMPIONS
1907-08, 1910-11, 1951-52, 1955-56, 1956-57, 1964-65, 1966-67, 1992-93, 1993-94, 1995-96, 1996-97, 1998-99, 1999-00, 2000-01, 2002-03
CHARITY/COMMUNITY SHIELD WINNERS
1908, 1911, 1952, 1956, 1957, 1965, 1967, 1977, 1983, 1990, 1993, 1994, 1996, 1997, 2003
F.A. CUP WINNERS
1909, 1948, 1963, 1977, 1983, 1985, 1990, 1994, 1996, 1999, 2004
LEAGUE CUP WINNERS
1992, 2006
EUROPEAN CUP/UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
1968,1999
UEFA SUPER CUP
1991
EUROPEAN CUP WINNERS' CUP
1991
INTERCONTINENTAL CUP
1999

July 2006
Sat 15 Orlando P - win 4-0 (SA Tour)
Tue 18 Kaiser C - Win 1-0 (SA Tour)
Sat 22 Kaiser C - Lost 0-0 (3-4 pens) (SA Tour)
Wen 26 Celtic - Win 3-0 (Pre Season)
Sat 29 Preston North End - Lost 1-2 (Pre Season)
Mon 31 Macclesfield Town - Won 2-1 (Pre Season)

August 2006
Fri 04 Porto FC - Won 3-1 (Amsterdam tournament)
Sat 05 Ajax FC - Won 1-0 (Amsterdam tournament)
Tue 09 Oxord United - Won 4-1 (pre-season)
Sat 12 Seville - Won 3-0 (Pre-season)
Sun 20 Fulham - Won 5-1 (Prem, Home)
Wen 23 Charlton Athletic - Won 3-0 (Prem, Away)
Sat 26 Watford - won 2-1 (Prem, Away)

September 2006
Sat 9 Tottenham Hotspur - won - 1-0 (Prem, Home)
Wed 13 Celtic - won - 3-2 (Chempions League, Home)
Sat 16 Arsenal - lost 0-1 (Prem, Home)
Sat 23 Reading - Drew 1-1 (Prem, Away)
Tue 26 Benfica - Won - 1-0 (Champions League, away)

October 2006
Sun 01 Newcastle United - Won - 2-0 (Prem, Home)
Sat 14 Wigan Athletic - Won 3-1 (Prem, Away)
Tue 17 Copenhagen - Won - 3-0 (Champions League, Home)
Sun 22 Liverpool - Won - 2-0 (Prem, Home)
Wed 25 Crewe Alexadra - Won - 1-1(2-1 AET) Carling Cup
Sat 28 Bolton Wanderers - Won - 4-0 (Prem, Away)

November 2006
Wed 1 Copenhagen - Lost - 0-1 (Champions League, away)
Sat 4 Portsmouth - Won - 3-0 (Prem, Home)
Tue 7 Southend United - Lost - 0-1 (Carling Cup)
Sat 11 Blackburn Rovers - Won - 1-0 (Prem, Away)
Sat 18 Sheffield United - Won - 2-1 (Prem, Away)
Tue 21 Celtic - Lost - 0-1 (Champions League, away)
Sun 26 Chelsea - Drew - 1-1 (Prem, Home)
Wed 29 Everton - Won - 3-0 (Prem, Home)

December 2006
Sat 2 Middlesbrough - Won - 2-1 (Prem, Away)
Wed 6 Benfica- Won - 3-1 (Champions League, Home)
Sat 9 Manchester City - Won - 3-1 (Prem, Home)
Sun 17 West Ham United - Lost - 0-1 (Prem, Away)
Sat 23 Aston Villa - Won - 3-0 (Prem, Away)
Tue 26 Wigan Athletic - Won - 3-0 (Prem, Home)
Sat 30 Reading - Won - 3-2 (Prem, Home)

January 2007
Mon 1 Newcastle - Draw - 2-2 United (Prem, Away)
Sun 7 Aston Villa - Won - 2-1 (FA Cup 3rd)
Sat 13 Aston Villa - Won - 3-1 (Prem, Home)
Sun 21 Arsenal - Lost - 2-1 (Prem, Away)
Sat 27 Portsmouth - Won - 2-1 (FA Cup 4th)
Wed 31 Watford - Won - 4-0 (Prem, Home)

February 2007
Sat 3 Tottenham Hotspur (Prem, Away)
Sat 10 Charlton Athletic (Prem, Home)
Sat 17 F.A. Cup 5
Sat 24 Fulham (Prem, Away)

March 2007
Sat 3 Liverpool (Prem, Away)
Sat 10 F.A. Cup 6
Sat 17 Bolton Wanderers (Prem, Home)
Sat 31 Blackburn Rovers (Prem, Home)


April 2007
Sat 7 Portsmouth (Prem, Away)
Mon 9 Sheffield United (Prem, Home)
Sat 14 Chelsea (Prem, Away) / F.A. Cup Semi-Final
Sat 21 Middlesbrough (Prem, Home)
Sat 28 Everton (Prem, Away)

May 2007
Sat 5 Manchester City (Prem, Away)
Sun 13 West Ham United (Prem, Home)
Sat 19 F.A. Cup Final