Memorable Quotes from
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Borat: My country send me to United States to make movie-film. Please, come and see my film. If it not success, I will be execute.

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Borat: [to American Audience] We support your war of terror.

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Borat: Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her? And maybe make a sexy time with her?
Driving Instructor: No no no no no no
Borat: A why not?
Driving Instructor: Because, a woman has the right to choose who she has sex with.
Borat: WHAT?... You joke?
Driving Instructor: It must be consent. How bout that?
Borat: Ahahahahaha!
Driving Instructor: That's good, huh?
Borat: ... is not good for me.

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Azamat: What's in California?
Borat: Pearl Harbor is there... So is Texas.

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Borat: We just a couple of pimps, no ho's.

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Borat: Although Kazakhstan a glorious country, it have a problem, too: economic, social and Jew.

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Borat: You telling me the man who try to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?

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Borat: Pamela! I no find you attractive anymore!... NOT!

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Dinner host: I'm calling the police!
Borat: Why you call police? The retard escape?

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Borat: Go kids! Smash the Jew chick before it hatches!

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Borat: What kind of dog is this?
Zookeeper: It's a tortoise.
Borat: Is it a cat in a hat?
Zookeeper: No... it's a tortoise in a shell.

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Borat: He insist we not fly, in case the Jews repeated their attack of 9/11.

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Borat: He is my neighbor, Nushuktan Tulyiagby, he is pain in my assholes. I get a window from a glass, he must get a window from a glass. I get a step, he must get a step. I get a clock-radio, he cannot afford. Great success!

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Borat Sagdiyev: What kind of car can I buy that attract woman with shaved vazhïn?
Car Dealership owner: That would be a Corvette. Or a Hummer.

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Borat Sagdiyev: I will look on your treasures, gypsy. Is this understood?

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Borat: Gypsy, who is this woman you have shrunk?

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Azamat: [points to two cockroaches] The Jews have shifted their shapes!

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Borat: I arrived in America's airport with clothings, U.S dollars and a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS.

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Borat: You are my friend?
Driving Instructor: You're a nice young man and yes, I am your friend.
Borat: You be my boyfriend?
Driving Instructor: No, I won't be your boyfriend.
Borat: Why not?
Driving Instructor: Okay, yeah, I guess I can be your boyfr... continued

If ur blonde dont read if u arent ul laugh ur ass off

"concentrate."


she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.


she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.


she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.


she tried to drown a fish.


she thought a quarterback was a refund.


she got locked in a grocery store and starved to

death.


she tripped over a cordless phone.


she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.


she studied for a blood test.


she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.


when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home,

she moved.


when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice

instead.


when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said

"Airport Left" she turned around and went home

Several months ago, scientists at Europe's human reproduction conference suggested that the results of a recent analysis revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, and suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption.

4 The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were each fed ten pints of beer in a one-hour period.

It was then observed that 100 percent of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, had to sit down while urinating, couldn't perform sexually, and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned